Feelings Turnabout
by Professor Snaglefoompus
Summary: An ending I wrote up for "Trials and Tribulations". Things spin out of control during the last trial of the game when Godot convinces the court that Phoenix is madly in love with Maya, and the two eventually become a couple. Phoenix/Maya
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **This story popped into my head while playing Trials and Tribulations for the first time. At one point in the trial, when Phoenix presses Iris, she drops a line about Maya being Phoenix's girlfriend. And despite the fact that it's a perfect setup for hilarious jokes, the game does NOT pick up on this!

So I decided to write this story to detail what happens next. If the game won't finish its jokes, I will.

At this point in the game, it is believed that Maya is locked in the Inner Temple, and she is possibly dead. As it turned out, that wasn't the case, but I thought it was when I wrote this.

* * *

"I went to the Inner Temple that night and I saw it all happen in the garden..." Iris began her testimony.

"Hold it!" Phoenix cried. "Sister Iris! Your testimony has changed quite a bit since yesterday. You stated that, on the night of the murder, you didn't go to the Inner Temple."

"Objection!" Godot responded. "Did she now? Too bad for you, what she said yesterday doesn't mean much today. By the way, where were you when she claimed that she didn't go?"

"Umm, I... It was in the Inner Temple's Training Hall..." Phoenix said.

Godot shook his head. "A private conversation between the two of you does not constitute testimony. That would be properly described as hearsay."

The judge lowered his head. "Hmm...What do you have to say, witness?"

"I-I just couldn't tell him the truth at that time," Iris admitted. "Mystic Maya...She's your girlfriend, isn't she?"

Phoenix was stunned. "...!"

"I...I didn't want to be the one to break it to you that I saw her commit murder..." Iris said.

"Now wait just a minute!" Phoenix cried, slamming his hands on his desk. "My relationship with Maya has nothing to do with this case!"

An odd silence fell over the courtroom.

Godot picked up his coffee and grinned. "Don't you mean your relationship _to_ Maya?"

Phoenix started sweating. "My...my...WHAAAAAAT?"

Godot grinned evilly. He had Wright cornered now.

Godot slammed his coffee cup on the table. "Your honor!" he cried. "I request that Mr. Wright be removed from this courtroom!"

"On what grounds?" The judge asked, bowing his head solemnly.

"As the defense has just revealed, he is currently dating Maya Fey! He is too personally involved in this case!"

"I fail to see what you mean, Mr. Godot," The judge said.

"As the defendant has just claimed, Maya is the real murderer! Mr. Trite will probably provide Iris with a sloppy defense in order to get Maya off the hook!"

"Hold it!" Phoenix cried. "I'm not—"

* * *

Up in the stands, everyone started talking amongst themselves.

"I don't understand," Gumshoe said to the girl next to him. "What's going on with Mr. Wright and Maya?"

"Mr. Nick is Mystic Maya's special someone," Pearl explained. "They're going to be married someday."

"Do you think they'll invite me to the wedding?" Gumshoe chucked.

"Only if you promise to put on something nice," Pearl ordered sternly.

Gumshoe frowned. There was no way he could afford to rent a tuxedo on _his_ salary...

* * *

The judge pounded his gavel to silence everyone. "Order! Order!"

"Prosecutor Godot, what you have just said makes a good deal of sense."

Godot grinned and took a deep gulp. "It fits together perfectly, like cinnamon sprinkles and the foam of my cappuccino."

"Does the defense have anything to say to this?"

Phoenix was having a _really_ hard time understanding what had just happened, but as always, he decided to press forward despite the overwhelming sense of confusion.

"Your honor! The prosecution's claims are nonsense! I am not dating Maya Fey!"

"Don't lie, Mister Nick!" Pearl cried from the stands.

"Yeah!" Gumshoe cried. "Lying is bad, pal!"

"ORDER!" The judge cried, banging his gavel. "Will all spectators please be silent? If you do not stop interrupting this trial, I will have to ask the bailiff to escort you out!"

"Your honor, please!" Phoenix pleaded. "I am perfectly capable of representing my client."

"Tell me something, Trite," Godot said. "Why weren't you in court yesterday?"

"I...I was sick," Phoenix said. "You know that."

"And how did you get sick?" Godot pressed.

"I fell into a river..."

"After running across a burning bridge to try to save Maya Fey," Godot concluded.

Phoenix grinned foolishly and put his arm to his head. "Well, I guess when you put it that way..."

"You see?" Godot said. "The defense is completely enamored with Maya Fey! There's no way he can provide a good cross examination at the expense of indicating her as a murderer!"

"Objection! This has gone far enough! Maya has nothing to do with this case! She's not even here at the moment! She's still being rescued from the Inner Temple!"

"Enough!" The judge said. "For the time being, I am willing to let Mr. Wright continue his defense. If, however, it seems he cannot provide an objective defense due to...other considerations, I shall have him removed. Understood?"

Phoenix nodded. "Understood, your honor."

* * *

The trial continued, and Phoenix's defense was as good as ever. He managed to push through Iris' lies to reveal the existence of her evil twin sister Dahlia.

"Miss Hawthorne had a grudge against me, did she not?" Phoenix pressed.

"I...I'm not sure what you mean," Iris lied. "She has nothing to do with what happened two days ago."

"It was at my trial that Dahlia Hawthorne was sentenced to death. And the defense lawyer in that case was Mia Fey, Maya's sister! That makes two connections between her and this case!"

"Nooooooo!!!" Iris cried, her hair flying backwards.

"Objection!" Godot cried. "Trite, do you really—?"

Godot was interrupted by the sound of a loud, techno-based ringtone.

"Godot here," Godot said, picking up his phone.

"Mr. Godot!" The judge said sternly. "Now is not the time for taking phone calls!"

"I see. And you're coming with her immediately? Good."

Godot hung up his phone.

"I apologize for the interruption, your honor," Godot said. "That was Miles Edgeworth. It seems that the defense's fiancée has just been found."

"What?!" Phoenix cried. "How did Maya and I go from dating to being engaged?"

"Aha!" Godot cried. "So you admit that you're dating Maya Fey!"

"No! I—!"

"Ah, young love..." The judge mused. "If you need a judge to oversee the wedding ceremony, I will only be too happy to oblige you, Mr. Wright."

Phoenix held his head in his hands. This was definitely not his day.

"Franziska Von Karma and Miles Edgeworth are bringing her presently," Godot said. "I ask for a twenty minute recess so the defense will have time to check up on his girlfriend and be ensured of her safety."

The judge nodded. "That sounds reasonable."

"But I was just about to prove Dahlia's connection to this case!" Phoenix said.

"Ha!" Godot laughed. "Forgive me, Trite, but the evil twin sister defense sounds like a cheap trick from a crappy detective novel. You don't honestly expect us to believe it, do you?"

"But Dahlia has a perfect motive! She hates me and the Feys! You can't rule her out as a suspect!"

"Dahlia Hawthorne was executed a month ago, Trite! She couldn't have done it! Unless you're proposing that Sister Iris has _another_ evil twin sister that no one has heard about before."

"The prosecution makes a good point," The judge said. "The twin sister story sounds a bit unlikely."

Phoenix slammed his hands on his desk. "Please, your honor! Make the witness testify about her sister! I'm sure it will clear matters up!"

"Objection! Dahlia Hawthorne is dead! She has no bearing on this case!"

"Objection! She is indeed relevant! As I just proved, she has the perfect motive!"

"Objection! If that motive of revenge works for Dahlia, then it also works for Iris! She'd want revenge on you for killing her sister!"

Phoenix started sweating. "This isn't good..." he said to himself.

The judge closed his eyes in thought. "Witness, if you would please..."

BOOM!

There was a loud bang as the doors of the courtroom burst open.

"Niiiiiiiick!"

Phoenix would recognize that voice anywhere, even if he hadn't been desperately hoping to hear it for the past two days. It was Maya.

"Maya!" Phoenix cried.

Maya ran up to Phoenix, deftly leaping over the gate that kept spectators out of the courtroom proper. Phoenix opened up his arms, ready to receive Maya, and the two hugged.

The courtroom awwwed.

"Maya! Are you safe? I was so worried!"

"I'm fine," Maya said. "But what about you? Is it true you tried to run across a burning bridge?"

"Er...I guess I did," Phoenix said, grinning stupidly.

Maya gave Phoenix a sly smile. "How could you do something so stupid, Nick?"

"I...I guess I wasn't thinking about it," Phoenix admitted. "All I could think of was the fact that you might be in trouble, and I had to do something to help you."

"I love you too, Nick," Maya said.

Then she kissed him.

The courtroom's awwws grew louder.

* * *

"This stinks!" Larry Butz said.

"Why?" Gumshoe asked.

"If Nick and Maya get married, that means I can't go out with her!"

Pearl slapped Larry. "You leave my cousin alone!"

* * *

"They are still foolish fools," Franziska Von Karma said, watching the scene with a frown on her face.

"Yes, but they're fools in love," Edgeworth said. "If I wasn't so adamantly opposed to public displays of affection, I would say it was sweet."

* * *

"Well, that certainly clears things up," The judge said. "If you want, I can perform the marriage ceremony right now."

"M-married?" Maya asked, her jaw dropping in shock. "Nick, what have you been telling everyone about me?!"

"N-nothing!" Phoenix objected.

"Do you, Phoenix Wright, take this woman to have and to hold—"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix cried.

A whip flew through the air and hit Phoenix on the head. "Ouch!"

"Don't interrupt the moment, fool!" Franziska Von Karma ordered. "Agree to marry her!"

"But...but..." Phoenix groped around for a possible way out of this mess. "I don't have a wedding ring!"

Everyone groaned.

"Mr. Wright, this is most disappointing," The judge said. "I would have expected a lawyer of your standing to be better prepared."

"I'm sorry, your honor," Phoenix apologized.

"In that case, this wedding will have to be postponed until a later date. Please make sure you are prepared then."

"I will be," Phoenix promised.

And six months later, he was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** You know, this story was supposed to be a one shot, but reaction to the story was so positive that I decided to continue it.

* * *

The trial was a major success. Phoenix successfully proved Iris' innocence, and Godot had been sent to jail for murder. Phoenix was glad—finding out that the prosecuting attorney was the real murderer had given him bad flashbacks of the Manfred Von Karma trial.

Phoenix was hoping to have some time after the trial to talk to Maya and try to explain that the whole marriage thing was just a big mistake—the Judge rarely understood things correctly, after all—but before he got a chance, all his friends showed up to congratulate him.

"You won, pal! Gumshoe said.

"An admirable performance, despite all the flaws in your case," Edgeworth said.

_Typical Edgeworth,_ Phoenix thought when he heard the backhanded compliment. He started to reply when he got tackled by Pearls.

"Mr. Nick! I'm so happy for you and Mystic Maya!" Pearls said excitedly. "I always knew you two were a perfect couple and now you're getting married and I can be a bridesmaid!"

"Woah woah!" Maya said. "Pearl, I think you're taking this marriage thing a bit too quickly."

Phoenix gave a sigh of relief. Thank goodness Maya didn't seem to be as crazy as everyone else was about the idea of them getting married.

"I getcha," Larry Butz said. "You want Franzy to be a bridesmaid! She _would_ look pretty hot in a dress..."

Franziska's whip flew through the air and hit Larry in the face. "Silence, fool!"

"Yes, ma'am," Larry said obediently.

"This marriage is so exciting!" Gumshoe said. "Have you picked a wedding date yet?"

"We should have a party!" Pearls said excitedly. "To celebrate!"

"Yeah, let's all go out and eat!" Larry said.

"Objection?" Phoenix protested weakly. "Maya and I can't—we don't—"

Franziska whipped Phoenix. "Out with it, fool! Don't stutter!"

"Maya and I have to talk!" Phoenix blurted out. "Privately!"

Larry wolf-whistled. "Nick, you _dog!_"

"I hear you, pal!" Gumshoe said. "We'll just head on over to the restaurant, and you can meet us there! Let's go, everyone!"

The group started leaving the courtroom. Sister Iris cast a longing look back at Phoenix as she left, and Edgeworth smirked at the couple. "Don't be too long, or there will be nothing left over for you except the bill," he said.

Finally, everyone was gone except for Phoenix and Maya.

"Are you okay, Maya?" Phoenix asked. "I was so worried about you being trapped in the Inner Temple."

Maya smiled. "I'm fine, Nick. I'm just a little confused, that's all. Why did you tell everyone that we're getting married?"

"I didn't!" Phoenix said. "I—that is, _they_—it's not—"

"Why are you so upset, Nick?" Maya asked giving Phoenix a sly smile. "Do you not _want_ to get married?"

"Yes! I mean, no! I mean, yes?"

Maya laughed. "You're so much fun to mess with, Nick! So come on, tell me what's up."

Phoenix sat down on one of the benches in the lobby. "Godot tried to convince the court that you and I are going out."

Maya looked confused. "Going out where?"

"Going out as in _dating_," Phoenix explained. "Like, a romantic couple. Two people who love each other and go places together and that sort of thing."

"I know what a romantic couple is, Nick," Maya said sternly. "I'm not a kid, you know. I watched about it on the Steel Samurai."

_Oh boy_, Phoenix thought to himself.

"When a heroic samurai and the beautiful princess fall in love, the samurai defeats evil villains in her name," Maya explained. "And he buys her chocolates. Lots of chocolates. Why don't you buy me any chocolates, Nick?"

_I think you've had enough sugar today_, Phoenix thought to himself. "I'm not made of money, Maya. I can't afford to buy you chocolates. I already waste enough money buying you hamburgers."

"You're such a cheapskate, Nick," Maya said. "Come one, don't you want to make your beautiful princess happy?"

"You're not my princess!" Phoenix said.

"But we do everything together," Maya insisted. "And we care about each other. You said that makes us a couple."

"There—there's more to being a couple than that!" Phoenix said.

"What?" Maya asked.

Phoenix reflected. He wasn't quite sure what to see. After all, he hadn't been in any serious relationships, and seeing as his relationship with Dahlia Hawthorne had been solidly proven as nothing more than a sham...

"Er...I don't know?" Phoenix asked.

Maya laughed. "It's okay, Nick. I don't really want to go out with you. I like you too much."

Phoenix smiled. Finally he and Maya were on the same page. "Me too," he said.

Phoenix and Maya hugged each other in a special "best friends" sort of way.

"I suppose everyone will be disappointed to hear we're not going out," Maya said.

"They probably will be," Phoenix agreed. "But I'm not worried, as long as _you're_ the one who tells Pearly."

* * *

Having gotten the difficult stuff over with, Phoenix and Maya chatted with each other the whole way to the restaurant.

"So this is what, the third time you've been cleared of murder charges?" Phoenix asked. "You're lucky you've got me around, or else you'd be in jail by now."

"And you're lucky you've got _me_ around, or else you'd never win a case," Maya said.

Phoenix laughed. "Nobody's told you this, but I only keep you around because you can summon Mia. _She's_ the Fey who I'm going out with."

Maya snorted. "And what about Pearls? Are you going to replace me with her?"

"Maybe when she's older," Phoenix said. It looked creepy when Pearl channeled Mia. _Really_ creepy. Seeing his favorite ten-year-old girl grow humongous breasts was _not_ a pretty sight.

Finally, the two of them made it to the restaurant where everybody else was.

"You made it, pal!" Gumshoe said.

Phoenix and Maya sat down at the table with all their friends and semi-friends like Edgeworth. The girls were on one side of the table, and the boys were on the other.

"That took longer than expected," Larry grinned. "You stayed back to make out with Maya for a little bit, eh?"

"Make out?" Maya asked. "What's that?"

Larry's face fell. "You don't know what making out is?"

"No," Maya said. "What is it?"

Using a few _discreet _words, Edgeworth leaned over the table and whispered an explanation into Maya's ear.

"EW!" Maya said. "Why would anyone want to do _THAT_?"

Maya threw a look of disgust at Larry and pushed her chair away from him, even though they were sitting at opposite sides of the table.

"If anyone tried that with me, I'd punch him in the nose!" Maya said hotly.

Franziska nodded approvingly. "You are not so foolish."

Larry was confused. "But—but! You two kissed in the courtroom today! Everybody saw!"

Phoenix turned red, and if he had looked, he would have seen that Maya had turned red also. "That was just a one-time thing," he said.

Pearls shot Phoenix the Look of Death. "You're still going to get married, though, _right, Mister Nick?_"

"Um, sure," Phoenix said. "We just have to find a veil big enough to cover Maya's top knot."

"It's not a top knot!" Maya insisted angrily. "Say that again, and I might not marry you!"

Pearls gasped.

"Please don't talk about Maya's top knot!" she begged Phoenix.

"It's _not_ a top knot!" Maya said, pounding the table and getting food all over Phoenix's suit.

"Way to go, Maya," Phoenix said. "Getting this suit dry-cleaned costs a ton."

"I'll help you clean up," Sister Iris volunteered quickly. "We can get a wet rag from the kitchen."

Iris rather forcefully dragged Phoenix to the kitchen and closed the door behind her. Then she turned around to face him.

"Feenie, we need to talk," Iris said.

"What about?" Phoenix asked, a little off-put by Iris' serious manner and the use of Dahlia's old nickname for him.

"It's hard for me to say," Iris said. "But I have to tell you the truth about when you were going out with my sister."

"The truth?" Phoenix asked. "I know the truth. Dahlia was only going out with me in order to get the locket."

"That's not it," Iris said, looking down. "You...you only saw Dahlia twice."

"Twice?" Phoenix asked. "I saw her every day for months!"

"Not really," Iris said. "You saw her in court, that's true, but the rest of the time...that was me, pretending to be her."

Iris had tears in her eyes. "She wanted to kill you outright, but I convinced her not to. I thought if I pretended to be her, I could get the locket from you, and you wouldn't have to be hurt..."

Phoenix was shocked. _Iris_ was the one he had dated for six months?

In a small way, it made sense. The Dahlia he had seen in court...the evil girl who tried to kill him...that couldn't have been the girl he had loved so much. He had told himself this over and over again, years ago. But to learn it was _true..._

As happens so often in his life, everything had been turned upside-down.

"Iris, I...I..."

"That's why I asked you to be my lawyer," Iris said, head down. "I knew if anything bad happened, you would help me...Feenie..."

"I don't believe it..." Phoenix said, more to himself than anyone else.

"I'm sorry," Iris said. "I know you're marrying Mystic Maya. I just...had to tell you."

Before he could respond, Iris turned around and ran out of the kitchen. Phoenix stood still, trying to absorb everything she had said. Eventually, he cleaned himself up and went back to the party.

"What'd you say to Iris?" Maya asked. "She ran out of here, crying."

"I'll...tell you later," Phoenix said. Pearls was giving him a very suspicious glare.

"But she looked really upset," Maya said.

"I wouldn't make too much of it," Edgeworth said, coolly. "Most of my clients react the same way when they hear about my fee."


	3. Chapter 3

Later that night, Phoenix, Maya and Pearl went back to the Wright & Co. offices. Phoenix sat down on his couch and sighed. It had been a long day.

"I'll put Pearl to bed," Maya volunteered.

"But I'm not tired," Pearl yawned.

"_I_ am," Phoenix muttered. "It's time for bed, Pearl."

But even after she was tucked into bed, Pearl refused to go to sleep without a bedtime story. "Tell me a love story, Maya," she begged.

Maya groaned. "Just go to bed, Pearl."

"It can go like this. Once there was a really beautiful girl." Pearl said. "All the boys in Kurain were in love with her because she was so beautiful, but she only cared about her special someone."

Pearl was bouncing up and down on her bed now. "And that someone was a handsome lawyer named Phoenix Wright. And he loved the beautiful girl..."

"So he and Franziska got married," Phoenix interrupted. "The end. Go to bed now, Pearly."

Pearl immediately protested, but Phoenix shut the door and left the room. Maya followed, laughing.

"Pearly's going to be really mad at you now," Maya said.

Phoenix shrugged. "She's going to be mad anyway, when she finds out we're not really getting married. I don't care that much; it's been a really long day. I'm tired."

"Me too," Maya smiled. "Getting accused of murder really wears a girl out."

"Actually, I would think you'd be used to it by now," Phoenix said.

"I think I am used to it," Maya said. "I took it a lot better than Iris did, didn't I? I barely even blinked, and she was crying her eyes out."

Phoenix groaned. He couldn't help it. He had decided to put "reflecting on the bombshell Iris had just unveiled" onto his list of things to do after he went asleep. Talking about Iris with Maya was definitely _not_ something he wanted to do right now.

"I noticed she cries a lot," Maya said, thoughtfully. "So what'd you say to her at the restaurant to make her so upset? You said you'd tell me later."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?" Phoenix asked. "I want to go to bed."

"Is the case not over or something?" Maya asked. "Did Godot file for an appeal? I don't know what else would make Iris cry like that."

Phoenix sighed. "No, there's not going to be an appeal," he said. "I proved that Sister Iris didn't kill Mystic Misty, and that's the end of it. Can I just go to bed now?"

"M-m-m-m-_Mystic Misty???_" Maya blurted out. "You mean, MOM? I thought it was Elise Deauxnim who was killed!"

_Uh oh_, Phoenix thought. He had forgotten that Maya wasn't found until after Elise Deauxnim's true identity was revealed.

"It...it turned out that Elise Deauxnim was Misty Fey," Phoenix said. "Your mother."

"WAAAAAAAH!!!" Maya started crying. "My mom is dead!"

"I'm sorry," Phoenix said lamely.

Maya grabbed Phoenix's suit, and stared directly at his face with pleading, teary eyes. "It's not true, is it? F-first Sis and now Mom...You're joking, right?"

Phoenix shook his head sadly. "It's true, Maya."

"Mooooom!" Maya cried.

Phoenix hugged Maya consolingly. "Look, it's okay," he said. "You still have me and Pearl. And it's not like you can't see her ever again. Pearl can channel her any time you want her to."

Maya held onto Phoenix with surprising strength, so he couldn't move away even if he wanted to. It was a rather awkward situation, having a girl hold onto him while she cried her heart out, but Phoenix cared about Maya, so he didn't feel awkward at all. He just kept saying supportive things to Maya, patting her on the back every now and then, and eventually, her sobs subsided into deep breaths.

When she was ready, Maya let go of Phoenix, and wiped her mouth with her sleeve.

"I'm sorry," Maya said. "I shouldn't be acting this way."

"Don't feel sorry," Phoenix said. "You're upset about your mother. I understand."

"I'm an adult. Adults don't cry," Maya said.

"Godot cried today, and he's an adult," Phoenix pointed out. "Adults are allowed to have feelings, too, you know."

Maya smiled. "Thanks, Phoenix. You're such a good friend. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what I'd do."

"Oh, Maya..." Phoenix said. As aggravating as Maya could be sometimes, Phoenix couldn't imagine his life without her.

"I love you, Phoenix," Maya whispered. "It's so sad. I never got to tell my mother I loved her. She left when I was only two."

"She knew," Phoenix said. "Your mother loved you. That's why she always wore the locket."

"What locket?" Maya asked.

Phoenix dug around in his pocket and pulled out the locket with a picture of Mia and Maya inside. Maya's eyes widened as she looked at it. "This was my mom's?"

"She was wearing it when she died," Phoenix said. "Your mother always kept the two of you close to her heart."

Maya was crying again, Phoenix noticed. But this time, she looked more happy than sad.

"Thanks," Maya said. "For everything."

She kissed Phoenix briefly, then left to go to her room.

* * *

Phoenix woke up early the next day. He had not had a very restful night. Although a lot had been resolved, a lot was left to do.

First off, Phoenix had to sort out his feelings for Iris.

There was no denying that he had been madly in love with Dahlia. That is, Iris. It had taken him a long time to get over her and start dating other girls, especially with the lack of closure. After all, a girlfriend suddenly trying to kill you isn't exactly the sort of thing you forget easily.

It was odd, in a way. Back then, he was absolutely convinced the girl he loved wasn't a murderer. And now, years later, it turned out to be true.

But was the unexpected appearance of an old girlfriend enough to stop him from caring about his new girlfriend?

_Woah, wait a second. __**New**__ girlfriend? Where did __**that**__ thought come from?_ Phoenix wondered. Maya was partner. Not his girlfriend.

But they _had_ kissed the day before. Twice, in fact. And everybody thought they were married.

Ugh. Life was confusing.

Phoenix got up and poured himself a glass of orange juice. He checked his watch. Pearl and Maya wouldn't be up for another hour, at least. Perfect. More time he could spend worrying about his love life.

Phoenix sighed. If only there was somebody he could talk to about what was happening...

But no, there was no one. None of his friends knew him when he was going out with Dahlia, except for Larry, and he had been abroad that year...

Wait. There was one person who knew everything about him and Dahlia.

Mia.

Mia knew everything about Maya, too. It was _perfect_. Now all he had to do was see if Pearl or Maya was awake.

Phoenix peeked into Maya's room. She was still sleeping.

He peeked into Pearl's room. She was sleeping, too. Darn. He was about to shut the door when...

"Mr. Nick?"

"Pearl?" Phoenix asked. "You're awake?"

"You woke me up," Pearl said, yawning. "Why'd you do that?"

"I want to talk to Mia," Phoenix said.

"It's too early for channeling," Pearl said. "I'm going back to sleep."

"Please, Pearl," Phoenix said. "It's important that I talk to Mia."

"I'm _sleepy_," Pearl said. "And she'll stretch out my clothes like last time. No."

Phoenix sighed. "I want to ask her about Maya," he said. "It's...important grown-up love business."

Pearl gushed. "Aw...that's so sweet. Okay, Mr. Nick."

Pearl closed her eyes and summoned Mia's spirit. Soon, Mia was sitting before Phoenix, looking slightly odd in pink bunny jammies.

"Hello, Phoenix," Mia said, smiling. "It's a little early for channeling, isn't it?"

"I suppose it is," Phoenix said. "But I have to talk to you."

"What about? The trial yesterday? You don't have to worry about the trial. I think you did a great job, Phoenix."

"No, not about the trial. I want to talk to you about my dating life."

Mia blinked. "Oookay. _That_ was unexpected."

Phoenix grinned stupidly. "Um...sorry. I probably should have built up to that."

"It's okay," Mia said, feeling a little unwary. "I _guess_ I can try to help you with dating, though. Who's the girl you want to go out with? Is it the Franziska woman I hear so much about?"

"_Franziska?_" Phoenix echoed. "No, no, no, no, no."

"Then is it Lana Skye?" Mia asked.

"No, I haven't seen Lana in over a year," Phoenix said.

Mia looked stumped. Those were the only girls she could think of. "Gumshoe doesn't have a sister, does he?" she asked.

"No, it's—this is kind of hard to say—she's...she's related to you."

"Maya?" Mia asked. "Really? I thought you might have had a crush on her..."

Phoenix groaned. Why did everyone think he was dating Maya? "No, it's not Maya. When I said 'related to you,' I meant that she's your...cousin."

Mia became immediately upset. "_Pearl?_ This had better be some sort of joke, Phoenix, because if it's not..."

"Not Pearl! I meant Dahlia Hawthorne!"

Mia tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Phoenix, I have no idea what you're talking about. Try starting over again from the beginning."

Phoenix sighed. "I talked with Iris yesterday," he started. "She said that I never really dated Dahlia. The person I went out with was her, pretending to be her sister in order to get the necklace from me."

"Oh..." Mia said. "I didn't know that."

"And now everything is totally crazy!" Phoenix exclaimed. "It took me forever to get over Dahlia, and now she's returned! Only it's not her; it's Iris, which means she didn't really try to kill me, so I shouldn't have tried to get over her in the first place, and I don't know what to do!"

"Phoenix, please, calm down," Mia said. "So...your old girlfriend has returned, and naturally, you're upset. Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Um...basically?" Phoenix guessed.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know much about Iris," Mia said. "I never met her. How does she feel about meeting you again?"

Phoenix thought for a moment. "I'm not sure, actually. She seemed kind of upset about it."

"Well, why don't you try talking to Iris about how she feels before you automatically assume she wants to be your girlfriend again?" Mia asked. "You've changed a lot in the past five years, and I'll bet she has, too."

Phoenix smiled. This was why he asked Pearl to summon Mia. Somehow, she always seemed to have the answers for everything.

"Okay," Phoenix said. "Thanks. I'll do that."

"Good," Mia said. "Is that everything? Can I go now?"

"Why, don't you want to stay here for a while?" Phoenix asked.

"Normally I would," Mia said. "But now that Mom is dead, she and I have a lot of catching up to do in the Spirit World."

"Well, then have fun in Spirit World then," Phoenix said. "Try not to run into Dahlia!"

Mia smiled sadly. "Phoenix, where Dahlia is now, we can't possibly meet with her. Like I said in court, she's going to be alone for a very long time."

"Is it like you said in court?" Phoenix asked. "Dahlia is going to exist as an empty shell for all eternity?"

Mia shrugged. "It's her choice. She decided she'd rather be alone than move on with everyone else. Maybe someday she'll change her mind...but I doubt it. She doesn't like other people very much."

"Oh," Phoenix said.

Mia smiled. "Don't tell anyone, okay? We're not supposed to tell people what happens when you die."


	4. Chapter 4

"Good morning, Nick!" Maya said. "Are those pancakes? Yum!"

"I figured you'd still be hungry after all the time you spent in the Inner Temple," Phoenix said. "So I cooked some extra pancakes just for you."

"See? He loves you, Mystic Maya!" Pearl said happily.

"You're so sweet, Nick," Maya said, kissing him on the cheek. Phoenix dropped the plate he was holding.

Soon, the three were seated at the table and started eating.

"So what's going on today, Nick?" Maya asked. "Filling out the standard post-trial paperwork?"

"Yes," Phoenix said. "And while I'm at the police department, I figured I'd see Sister Iris. The two of us need to negotiate some sort of fee."

"Great!" Maya said. "I'll come with you!"

"Um...no thanks," Phoenix said. Having Maya tag along while he tried to talk to Iris was _not_ a good idea. "I can do it alone"

"You can't be there without me! We're the best lawyer team in town, Nick!" Maya said.

"Yay!" Pearl said.

"But, who will watch Pearl?" Phoenix asked.

"She can come along," Maya said.

"No way," Phoenix said. "You two need to get back to Kurain."

"Iris is our cousin," Maya said. "We need to make friends with her."

"She's our cousin? Really?" Pearl asked. "Yay! I like Iris. She's nice."

"She's only Maya's cousin," Phoenix clarified. "Iris is more of a sister to you, Pearl."

"Is that why she's called Sister Iris?" Pearl asked.

"Not exactly," Phoenix said. "In any case, I think it'd be better if I talked to her alone, without you two there. You can visit her some other time."

"Why can't we come along?" Pearl asked.

"Yeah, why?" Maya asked.

"I want to talk to Iris alone, because we have a history together," Phoenix said, trying to use descriptions that Pearl probably wouldn't understand. "It's going to be kind of personal."

"What?" Maya asked.

"Iris and I have a _personal history_ together," Phoenix repeated. "We knew each other at the University."

"You two took a history class together?"

Phoenix sighed. "I'm saying that I dated Iris for six months when I was in college!"

"You dated my cousin?" Maya asked. "Nick!"

Pearl gasped. "You cheated on Mystic Maya for my big sister? Mr. Nick, how could you?"

Pearl looked like she was going to slap Phoenix silly, so he quickly explained. "That was before I met Maya! It was five years ago, and I never saw Iris again until now!"

"Oh, ho!" Maya said. "So _that's_ why you wanted to come with us to train at the temple!"

"No, that's not it!" Phoenix said.

"Well, if you dated Iris, that means we _have_ to come," Pearl said. "We need to tell her that she can't be your girlfriend anymore, because you're in love with Mystic Maya."

"Yeah," Maya said. "You don't love anybody but me, honey."

"_Honey?_" Phoenix asked. What on Earth was going on with Maya?

* * *

So it was that Pearl and Maya came along with Phoenix to visit Sister Iris in the detention center.

"Hi, Iris!" Pearl said. "You're my big sister now!"

"What?" Iris asked.

"Mister Nick says we have the same mommy," Pearl said. "That makes us sisters!"

"And that makes us cousins!" Maya said, nodding her head. "Welcome to the Fey Family, Iris!"

"Family?" Iris asked. She looked as if she didn't want to believe it. "Are you serious? You still want to consider me part of the family? After everything I did?"

Maya and Pearl nodded enthusiastically.

"Families stick together!" Pearl said happily, blissfully unaware that her mother had tried to ruin the Feys numerous times.

"Besides, you're the nice twin," Maya said. "Why shouldn't we like you?"

There were tears in Iris' eyes. "I never had a real family before..." she said.

"You didn't?" Pearl asked.

"I didn't know my parents," Iris said. "The only person I had was Dahlia, and she was mean to me all the time..."

"Well, you have us now," Maya said. "And I promise we'll be nice to you."

"Yeah!" Pearl said. "I always wanted a big sister! When you get out of jail, you can come live with us in Kurain!"

"Well, thanks," Iris said. "I don't know when I'm going to be allowed to leave, though."

Phoenix didn't want to interrupt the family reunion, but he stepped forward at this point.

"Detective Gumshoe thinks they're going to keep you here for another week or so," Phoenix said. "The DA just has to make up its mind whether to try you as an accessory to murder, or to drop all the charges against you."

"Will you defend me if they prosecute me again?" Iris asked.

"Of course," Phoenix assured her.

Iris had tears in her eyes. Maya had a point, Phoenix thought—Iris _did_ cry a lot. "You're all so nice," she said. "Inviting me to stay with you, defending me in court—I'm sorry, but there's no way I can repay you."

"You don't have to pay me," Phoenix said. "I don't really need the money."

Phoenix was right—after successfully defending two millionaire television stars and the rich thief Ron DeLite, he was not exactly strapped for cash.

"Yeah, family members always help each other out," Pearl said.

"Phoenix and I aren't related," Iris pointed out.

"We will be!" Pearl said. "He's going to marry Mystic Maya!"

"Yeah!" Maya said, wrapping her arms around Phoenix in a sideways hug. "You'll come to the wedding, right, Iris?"

"I, um, sure," Iris said. "I didn't..."

This is what Phoenix wanted to talk to Iris about. He cleared his throat. "Pearl, Maya, can I talk to Iris alone for a moment?"

"Sure," Maya said.

"No," Pearl said.

"Pearly!" Maya said. "Don't be rude!"

"I know what you're going to do, Mr. Nick," Pearl said, wagging a finger at Phoenix. "You said Iris was your girlfriend, and now you want to talk about romance and love with another woman besides Mystic Maya! I won't let you!"

"No, that's...not it," Phoenix lied.

Pearl looked like she didn't believe Phoenix for a second.

"Don't worry," Iris said. "I promise we won't do anything inappropriate. Please, Sis?"

Pearl was so happy with the new nickname that she agreed.

"Okay, but you can't be Mr. Nick's girlfriend anymore," Pearl told Iris. "He's Mystic Maya's special someone."

"I'll remember that," Iris said.

Maya and Pearl left the room, so Phoenix and Iris were alone.

"Pearl is really protective of you and Maya," Iris said.

"Tell me about it," Phoenix said. "If she catches me talking to another woman, even if it's one of my clients, she slaps me and gives me a lecture about being faithful to Maya."

Iris giggled. "She's going to be a fun sister, I can tell."

"Look, Iris," Phoenix said. "I wanted to talk to you...I have to know if what you told me yesterday was true."

Iris looked down. "It's true. I was the one who you dated for six months. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"Because you were a nice boyfriend, and I lied to you the whole time I knew you!" Iris said, crying. "You didn't even know my real name! I'm such a horrible person for deceiving you!"

"Hey, you don't have to get so—"

"That's why I never talked to you after Dahlia was arrested. I thought if you knew the truth, you would hate me."

"I don't hate you," Phoenix said. "Look, I'm not mad at you, okay?"

"Really?" Iris asked.

"Really," Phoenix said. "Why should I hate you? You're a good person."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Iris said.

"No, I'm not!" Phoenix said. He was doing what Mia always told him to do—believe in his client, even when she didn't believe in herself. "Look, so maybe you lied to me, but you did it to protect me from Dahlia. That's a good thing! If it wasn't for you, I probably wouldn't even be alive right now!"

Iris smiled. "Feenie, you were always nice to me," she said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Phoenix said. "I'm glad we got the chance to meet again."

"Me too," Iris said.

"Look, this might sound stupid," Phoenix said. "But...what do you want to do now? Do you want to...get back together?"

Iris was surprised. "What about Maya?"

"Maya and I aren't—we—it's hard to explain," Phoenix said.

Iris was thoughtful. "No, Phoenix. I don't think we should get back together," she said. "I want to be like you—I want to move on with my life. I've spent too much time, focused on the past and Dahlia. I want to start over again. Maybe I'll move to Kurain like Maya suggested."

Phoenix let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. Iris didn't want to go out with him again. That solved one of his major problems.

"Besides, my new sister said I couldn't be your girlfriend anymore."

Phoenix chuckled. "I understand, Iris," he said. "Thanks. You saved me from a lot of worry."

Iris shrugged. "I've had a lot of time to think about us," she said. "Five years, in fact."

"Well, even if we're not dating, I'm still going to insist that we see each other every now and then," Phoenix said. "I don't want you disappearing from my life for five years again. You're too important to me for that to happen."

Iris smiled. "Sure, Phoenix. That sounds good to me."

* * *

Phoenix called Edgeworth afterwards, to see if he could convince the DA to drop all charges against Iris.

"That should be quite simple," Edgeworth said. "Godot was arrested for the murder of Misty Fey, and Iris never met Godot. Ergo, she is not his accomplice."

"But she moved the body," Phoenix said. "Doesn't that make her seem suspicious?"

"Obviously, I won't be foolish enough to mention that when talking to Chief Skye," Edgeworth said condescendingly.

"Thanks, Edgeworth. I owe you a favor."

"Yes, well, you can do me that favor by inviting Franziska Von Karma to your office tomorrow," Edgeworth said. "I have a meeting at 4:00, and I don't want her to know about it."

"You're sneaking around behind Franziska's back?"

"Not exactly. I'm being discreet. If she knew about the meeting, she'd invite herself to it and whip my client half to death."

"Who's your client?" Phoenix asked.

"That's none of your business, Wright," Edgeworth said. "Just make sure to keep Franziska busy tomorrow at 4:00, and I'll see about getting Iris off the hook."

"What am I supposed to tell her?" Phoenix asked. "Franziska hates my guts. There's no way she'd come over to see me!"

"That's your problem, not mine," Edgeworth said. "Tell her you need her to fill out some forms or something like that. Just keep her busy for an hour or so."

"Well...okay, Edgeworth. I'll try."

"I don't think you'll have any problems," Edgeworth said. "I've seen you in court. Distracting people is what you do best."

* * *

Phoenix, Pearl and Maya came back to the Wright & Co. Law Offices later that day. Pearl was as happy as could be about what happened at the detention center. Iris said she wouldn't be Mr. Nick's boyfriend again. She'd make a good sister!

"We're back!" Maya announced. "I love your office, Nick! It's where we first met! Remember?"

"Um, sure," Phoenix said.

"You're so sweet," she said, kissing him on the cheek. There she was, kissing him again. What had gotten into her?

"I'm so happy right now!" Pearl said. "I have to tell someone and surprise them with the good news! I have a new big sister, and Maya is marrying Phoenix!"

Pearl skipped off to her room, and Phoenix turned on Maya.

"Maya, what are you doing?" he asked. "You've been acting weird all day!"

"What do you mean, Snuggle-Bunny?" Maya asked.

"THAT!" Phoenix said. "You never call me 'Snuggle-Bunny' or kiss me or anything like that!"

"Well, you're my boyfriend now, silly," Maya said. "That means I get to kiss you whenever I want."

"But I'm not your boyfriend," Phoenix said. "We have to tell everyone that we're not really getting married!"

"No way," Maya said. "I like having a boyfriend, even if it's just pretend. It's more fun than I thought it would be. I'm going to keep doing it. Now let's kiss like they do on TV!"

"Objection!" Phoenix cried.

"Overruled," Maya smiled. She threw her arms around his neck and gave him what was supposed to be a seductive look (In reality, it looked more like she had to go to the bathroom). "Kiss me, you big hunk of manliness!"

Phoenix's protests were cut off by Maya shoving her mouth on his in a manner she usually reserved for double cheeseburgers. Suddenly, Phoenix forgot what he was going to say. It didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was her lips on his, surrounding them, and the steady chewing-like movement of Maya's jaw.

Then she pulled back, before Phoenix had gotten used to the sensation.

"By the way, what's a hunk?" Maya asked.

"I have no idea," Phoenix said.

He leaned forward towards Maya again, but he was interrupted by somebody shouting, "You're marrying my _sister?_"

Phoenix looked up. A very angry-looking Mia was standing in the doorway to Pearl's room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Last Time on Feelings Turnabout:**

He leaned forward towards Maya again, but he was interrupted by somebody shouting, "You're marrying my _sister?_"

Phoenix looked up. A very angry-looking Mia was standing in the doorway to Pearl's room.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

"M-Mia?" Phoenix asked. He immediately backed away from Maya. No need to make the situation any more awkward than it already was.

"Sis!" Maya said. "We...we're not really—"

"_I can't believe you two!_" Mia shouted. "Going out with each other behind my back! Why didn't tell me you two were dating? I mean, I know I'm dead, but I would have thought that this is the sort of thing you'd tell me! My little sister and my ex-partner—"

"We're not dating each other!" Phoenix said.

Mia stopped shouting and blinked. "You're not?"

"No," Maya said. "And I'm pretty sure we're not getting married, either."

"Oh," Mia said. Looking embarrassed, she sat down in a chair. "Sorry for yelling at you."

Phoenix breathed a sigh of relief. Hurricane Mia had been averted.

"Well, then, what's going on?" Mia asked. "Pearl said that the two of you were getting married, that you kissed in court in front of everyone. And just now, it looked like you were going to kiss."

Phoenix and Maya blushed and didn't say anything.

"No way," Mia said. "You two _did_ kiss in court yesterday? Then...you _are_ going out with each other!"

"We're not!" Phoenix said. "We just...kissed, that's all."

"And _why_ did you kiss my sister?"

"I was...glad to see her?" Phoenix guessed.

Mia shook her head. "Try again, Phoenix."

"I _was_ glad to see her!" Phoenix said. "You don't understand—I thought Maya was dead, and I'd never see her again! When I saw she was still alive, I...kinda stopped thinking and let my feelings take over."

"I was happy to see him, too," Maya said. "Phoenix saved my life. Again. I thought he deserved a little reward for saving me, so...I gave him a little kiss."

Mia nodded.

"Now everyone thinks we're a couple," Phoenix said. "But don't worry, Maya and I are going to clear up this whole mess as soon as possible, I promise."

"Do we have to?" Maya asked. "I never had a boyfriend before..."

"Yes, we have to clear it up!" Phoenix insisted. "Right away!"

Maya stuck her tongue out at Phoenix. "You're not a very fun boyfriend," she said.

"And you're not a very mature girlfriend," Phoenix retorted.

"I am TOO mature!" Maya said, stomping her foot on the ground.

Mia smiled to herself, seeing this situation—it was about time Maya started showing interest in boys. She was almost twenty, after all. All she needed now was a little prodding onto the right path, and everything would be fine.

"Okay, you lovebirds," Mia said. "There's no need to fight in the law offices. Why don't you...kiss and make up?"

"Yay!" Maya said. She still wanted to see what kissing was like. Maya moved towards Phoenix with arms outstretched.

"Mia, don't egg her on!" Phoenix complained, pushing Maya away.

"Sorry," Mia said. It was probably unfair to Phoenix to shove a girlfriend on him, but Maya's emotional development was extremely important, in Mia's opinion. "I just think you two make a cute couple, that's all."

Phoenix groaned. "Not you, too! Everyone's saying we're a great couple!"

"That's because we are!" Maya said. "Great, that is!"

"But we're not!" Phoenix said. "A couple, _that_ is!"

"Well, it looks like I'll have to give you the Big Sister Talk about dating sometime soon," Mia said. "But for now, is there anything going on here tonight? Any new clients? Or do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"No," Phoenix said. "Not much is going on with the law office—we were supposed to be on vacation this week, after all. I _did_ get a request for legal consultation from Wendy Oldbag today, but I'm not sure what it's for, though."

Mia whispered something in Maya's ear. Maya giggled and whispered something back to Mia, after which, Mia whispered to Maya again.

Phoenix frowned. He didn't like the looks of this.

"Well, if you don't have anything planned, I should probably be going," Mia said. "I've got a letter to write to Pearl, after all."

Mia headed into Pearl's room. "Good luck, you two."

_Good luck?_ Phoenix wondered. _Now why would Mia think I need luck?_

"Let's go out on a date tonight!" Maya said to Phoenix.

_Ah...that's why_.

"You know we really shouldn't do that, Maya," Phonenix said.

"Please, Nick," Maya pleaded. "I've never been on a date before. I might not get another chance."

Phoenix almost laughed. "I seriously doubt that, Maya. I'm sure plenty of boys would love to take you out on a date."

"But not you? Come on, Phoenix, please? You're not doing anything else tonight..."

Phoenix could feel his resolve weakening. Somehow, Maya always knew how to get him to do what she wanted—even if it was something patently ridiculous like defend Maximilian Galactica in court.

"Just once, and we can tell everyone everything," Maya said. "Pleeeeeease?"

Phoenix knew he would be in for a long night of begging...

"Please please please please please please?"

"All right!" Phoenix said. "We'll go out on a date tonight! But only this once, okay?"

"Yay!" Maya said.

* * *

So Phoenix and Maya hired Maggey Byrde to baby-sit Pearl that night, and the two of them went out to a fancy restaurant. Only it turned out that the restaurant wouldn't let Maya in because she wasn't adhering to the proper dress code—"But I'm not even _wearing_ a dress," Maya had complained—and they ended up getting kicked out of the building.

"Those meanies," Maya said. "You should get Edgeworth to sue them, Nick. Now we can't have a date!"

"We could always go to our normal burger joint," Phoenix suggested.

"No way," Maya said. "Dates are supposed to be fun and different. That's how it was in that movie I saw."

Phoenix sighed. "Life isn't always like the movies, you know."

"Sure it is," Maya said. "Now let's talk about our feelings!"

Phoenix made a mental note to keep a closer watch on what movies Maya was watching. "I feel...like getting some Mexican food instead of burgers?"

"That's not what you're supposed to say," Maya reprimanded. "You're supposed to say that you think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, and you'd fight twelve ninjas for me."

"What ninjas?" Phoenix asked.

"Duh, the evil leprechaun ninjas from Jupiter," Maya said, as if it was completely obvious. "You don't _have_ to fight the ninjas, though. It's the romantic thought that matters."

"Somehow, talking about ninjas doesn't put me in a romantic mood," Phoenix said.

Maya shook her head. "You don't know much about dating, do you, Nick?"

Phoenix groaned. Last time he checked, Maya was the one on her first date, not him. "I know plenty about dating," he said.

"Is that so?" Maya asked. "Since when? I thought Wendy Oldbag said you're not her type."

Phoenix didn't appreciate Maya's joke. "Don't be ridiculous," Phoenix snapped. "I went out with Dahlia Hawthorne for six months, you know."

Maya's joking smile immediately disappeared. "Woah, _what?_" she asked. "Dahlia Hawthorne? My crazy cousin who killed my mother? You dated _her?_ How could you?"

"I didn't know she was evil then!" Phoenix tried to explain. "Besides, I didn't go out with her that much; I mostly went out with Iris!"

"_Iris?_" Maya asked. "You dated _both_ my cousins? What, are you trying to date _all_ the girls in my family? Is that why you agreed to go out with me?"

"No!" Phoenix said. "I went out with you because you forced me to!"

"_That's not what you're supposed to say!_" Maya scolded. "You're supposed to say you'll go out with me because you love me! That's what the guy said in the movie!"

"What movie?" Phoenix asked. "Look, Maya, I don't have to act like some guy in a movie you saw, okay?"

"Yes, you do," Maya insisted. "Otherwise, it doesn't count as a date."

Phoenix rubbed his now-aching forehead. Sometimes, Maya was more trouble than she was worth. "Okay, fine. Maya Fey, you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and I love you more than life itself. Happy now?"

"Oh, Phoenix," Maya said, clasping her hands together in imitation of her favorite movie character. "That's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me! I feel so happy..."

Maya frowned as she realized the words sounded wrong on her lips. "Actually, I kinda liked it better when we were fighting," she said. "I guess that wasn't a good movie after all."

"That's what I've been trying to say all along!" Phoenix exclaimed. _...I think._ To be honest, the whole conversation confused him.

"Okay, fine, we can do it your way," Maya said, giving up her movie fantasy. "So what do we do now, then?"

"We go to our normal place for burgers," Phoenix said.

"Yay burgers!" Maya said.

---

So Maya and Phoenix went to their usual place and had some burgers, just like they always did.

"That was fun!" Maya said as the two of them headed back to the Wright & Co. Law Offices. "But I still don't see how it counts as a date when we've been doing it for years. Unless that means we've been dating for years now and didn't know it?"

"I think it's a date because we say it's a date, that's all," Phoenix said.

"Really? That's weird," Maya said.

"Well, in any case, the date is over," Phoenix said. "And that means you'll tell everyone were not really a couple, just like you promised. Right?"

"What? You're breaking up with me?" Maya asked. "The date wasn't _that_ bad, was it?"

"Maya!"

Maya laughed. "I'm just playing with you, Nick! Of course I'll tell everyone we're not going out."

Phoenix let out a breath of air. _Finally_. Now his life could return to normal.

"Only..."

_Uh oh_, Phoenix thought. "Only what?"

"Only...I had fun tonight, that's all," Maya shrugged. "You're my friend. I like being with you, Nick. Even if it's not a date."

"I feel the same way," Phoenix said. "The whole dating thing doesn't matter. I'll still be here for you, no matter what. You're important to me, Maya."

"You're important to me, too," Maya said. "You've done so much for me...you've given me a job, a place to live, and without you, I'd be in jail for murder three times. You're like my knight in swimming armor."

"That's shining armor," Phoenix corrected.

"Whatever," Maya said. "Thanks for everything."

Then Maya kissed Phoenix. It reminded him of their kiss in court: sweet. It was the way Phoenix liked to kiss—not the passionate making out that Larry enjoyed, but more of a sweet, special moment shared between two friends. Sweet, that's what it was. Sweet circumstances, a sweet kiss, Maya was a sweet girl.

And maybe it tasted sweet, too.

Phoenix stopped and smiled at Maya after they broke apart. Sometimes, she was nicer than he gave her credit for.

"Well, I guess we have to go in and break the bad news to Pearl," Maya said, looking slightly disappointed.

"Hold it!" Phoenix shouted, without thinking. After shouting "Hold it!" so many times in court, it was practically a reflex by now.

Maya rubbed her ears. "Ow, don't shout so loud!" she said. "I'm standing right next to you!"

"Sorry," Phoenix said. "I just wanted to say that...um...maybe we _don't_ have to tell everyone...not yet, anyway."

"Oh, Nick," Maya smiled, her eyes sparkling. "See, I knew you'd make a great boyfriend!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Unfortunately for Phoenix, the next day did not go as smoothly as the last day had.

The day started with Phoenix going over to Wendy Oldbag's to perform the legal consultation she had requested. It turned out she was writing her will (_about time_), and she needed a lawyer's input. But instead of asking for legal advice, Wendy spent most of the time yelling at Phoenix for being a young whippersnapper, and for being a lawyer who _wasn't_ Miles Edgeworth. After about six hours, she finally let Phoenix leave—not because he was done writing up her will, but because her favorite soap opera was on.

So Phoenix was extremely tired when he got back to the office. However, he had only a little time to rest before another angry female came in.

The door to Phoenix's law office was slammed open at precisely 4:00 PM that day. "I am here," Franziska Von Karma announced.

Edgeworth told Phoenix to distract Franziska for an hour, but Phoenix couldn't think of a good excuse to get Franziska to his office, so he decided to butter her up instead. He told her that he was worried about Pearl—she was nearing ten and needed "a positive female influence" in her life, someone like Franziska.

"For once, you are not being a fool," Franziska said. "I will take Pearl Fey under my wing and protect her from the fools of the world as she ascends the threshold of adolescence."

"Um...sure," Phoenix said. "If you say so."

"What does that mean?" Maya wondered.

"Fool!" Franziska snapped. "It means I am here to teach Miss Pearl Fey about the ways of womanhood!"

"Womanhood?" Maya asked. "Pearl is just a little girl."

"Nonsense," Franziska said. "I am the only one here perfectly suited to this task. I shudder to think what would happen if one of _you_ tried to give 'The Talk' to this little girl."

Phoenix blanched. "No, you don't have to give her the Talk," he said hastily.

"What's the Talk?" Maya asked, interested.

"Um, er, it's about...when boys and girls get older and they...erm...fall in love," Phoenix babbled.

"Ooo, I could use a talk like that!" Maya said. "Now that we're getting married and everything! 'Cause Mia said she'd give me the Big Sister Dating talk, but she hasn't done it yet."

Franziska strummed her fingers on a table. "Well, I suppose that it would not hurt for you to hear the Talk."

"Cool!" Maya said. "Hey, Pearl! Turn off the TV and come in here! Franziska is going to give us the talk!"

"What talk?" Pearl asked, coming into the room. "And who's Franzis—oh no! The mean prosecutor is here!"

Franziska scowled. "You will address me as Miss Von Karma!"

"Y-yes, Miss Von Car...Door."

"Karma! Karma! Franziska Von Karma!" Franziska shouted, waiving her whip in the air. "I am here to prepare you for womanhood!"

"You don't have to do this," Phoenix said. "I mean, you _really_ don't have to do this."

"Go away, fool," Franziska told Phoenix, giving him a whip for good measure. "This is a girls-only talk."

"Yeah, no boys allowed!" Maya said.

So Phoenix left the law offices and started wandering down the street, not sure what to do until Franziska was finished with...whatever she was doing.

Maybe he could go down to the police station and see if Gumshoe had any difficult cases. The more difficult the case was, the more likely it was the Gumshoe arrested the wrong person. So Phoenix could usually count on an innocent client whenever Gumshoe seemed confused by a case.

"Hey, Nick, you old dog!" someone cried.

Phoenix turned around and saw it was Larry Butz. "Hey, Larry, what's up?"

"Not bad," Larry said. "I finished drawing a few pictures for my new picture book. How's the old ball and chain doing?"

"Ball and chain?" Phoenix asked.

"Your new wife!" Larry said. "Maya! I never figured _you'd_ be the first one of us to get married!"

"Maya and I aren't...exactly...getting married yet," Phoenix said.

"Having second thoughts?" Larry asked.

"No, it's just that..."

Phoenix thought for a moment. The situation with Maya was hard to describe. That and the fact that talking to Larry about girls was always a dangerous pastime.

"Maya and I just had our first date yesterday," Phoenix said. "Marriage is a little far off."

"You proposed to Maya before you went out with her?" Larry asked, his eyes bugging out. "That's risky business, Nick!"

"I didn't propose!" Phoenix defended himself.

"_She _proposed to you?" Larry asked. "Man, oh, man, I didn't know Maya was that kind of girl! No wonder she never went out with me!"

"_You asked Maya out on a date?!_" Phoenix shouted, much louder than he would have shouted normally.

"No!" Larry said immediately. "I mean, maybe I thought about it once or twice, but I never said anything to her! Besides, I always knew she was your territory!"

"_My_ territory?" Phoenix asked.

"Well, yeah, you two are always hanging out together," Larry said. "And you never mess with another dude's chick, especially if he's your friend."

"It's not like that with me and Maya!" Phoenix protested.

"But...you just said you two were going out," Larry said, confused.

"We _went_ out," Phoenix clarified. "On _one_ date. That doesn't make us a couple."

"Are you going to ask her out on a second date?" Larry asked.

"I, um, I...I'm not sure," Phoenix said.

"Cool, so I can ask Maya out after all!" Larry said. "That's great news!"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix shouted. "There's no way I'd let you go out with Maya! I've seen how you act around girls!"

"I knew it!" Larry said, giving Phoenix a very out-of-place thumbs-up. "You _do_ like Maya! You just need a few pointers on how to deal with babes, and soon you'll be all set!"

"B-b-babes?" Phoenix asked.

Larry scratched his head. "I wouldn't say Maya's a babe," he said. "Mia was more my type. But you're into Maya, so that doesn't matter, right?"

"Um..."

"I know all about dealing with girls," Larry bragged. "So if there's anything you want to know, feel free to ask!"

Phoenix felt like asking Larry a few questions, all right. "Why don't you mind your own business?" for one. But Phoenix knew Larry too well—once Larry started talking about girls, it would take a miracle to get him to stop.

Larry ended up giving Phoenix a long lecture on what to do with Maya, how he should treat her, how he should kiss her (Phoenix did not like _that_ particular part), and how Phoenix should totally buy Maya some hot new clothes. By the end of it all, Phoenix's head was spinning.

So Phoenix went back to his office, more confused that he had been before he left.

* * *

When Phoenix returned to his office, he was in for a very disturbing surprise.

It was his worst nightmare. Pearl was wearing a large, ruffled dress, and was carrying a whip.

"Hi, Mister Nick!" she said happily. "Look what Franziska got me!"

"Tut, tut," Franziska said. "Remember that _you _are in charge here, not him. And don't forget to use full names. Familiarity breeds contempt."

"Oh, yeah," Pearl said. She cleared her throat and tried talking in a deeper, more commanding voice. "I mean, hello, Phoenix Wright. Look what Franziska Von Karma got me!"

Pearl swung her whip and hit Phoenix on the shoulder.

"Owww!" Phoenix cried.

"That was more fun than I thought it would be!" Pearl said, bouncing up and down happily.

"Let me try," Maya said, grabbing Pearl's whip and striking a heroic pose she saw in one of her samurai movies.

"Don't use me for whipping practice!" Phoenix begged.

"Unhand the princess, you foul villain!" Maya cried, swinging the whip behind her and accidentally smacking Pearl in the face.

"Waaaaaaaah!" Pearl cried. "That hurt, Maya!"

"I'm sorry, Pearly!" Maya said immediately. "I didn't mean to!"

"You're a big meanie!" Pearl said. "I mean...FOOL! I will whip you into oblivion if you dare touch me again!"

Franziska nodded contentedly at her pupil's progress.

"You have nothing more to fear," Franziska told Phoenix. "I have set Pearl Fey upon the right path."

"Thanks a lot," Phoenix muttered.

"You're welcome," Franziska said, giving Phoenix a short bow. "But I couldn't get the older one to learn anything. I fear she is a lost cause."

Phoenix chuckled inwardly at those words. Maya certainly did what she wanted to do, instead of what other people told her to do. It was part of what made her special.

Phoenix smiled. "That's okay. I like Maya just the way she is."

"You are a sentimental fool," Franziska said. "That is why you are a poor defense attorney. You are more concerned with emotions than facts."

"Not true," Phoenix said. "I trust my clients and believe in their innocence. Those feelings help me be a good defense attorney."

"You are a foolish fool," Franziska said. "Farewell."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Mister Phoenix Wright!" Pearl said. "I demand my dinner, now!"

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Phoenix said. "I've got it right here!"

"Move it, you fool!" Pearl said. Her whip flew through the air and hit Phoenix on the shoulder.

"Ouch!" Phoenix said, grabbing his shoulder and dropping the food all over the floor.

"Oh no!" Maya said. "Our dinner!"

"I'm sorry, Mister Nick!" Pearl said. "I mean, um, FOOL! You have spoiled my dinner! You are a foolish fool who foolishly...um...what comes next, Maya?"

"Fools up?" Maya guessed.

"Yeah!" Pearl said. "So don't be a fool, fool!"

"Why do I get the feeling that it's April Fools Day all of a sudden?" Phoenix wondered to himself.

Meanwhile, Pearl had somehow gotten her whip tied up in a knot, and she was waving it around in a big circle, trying to get it loose.

"Okay, Pearl," Phoenix said. "It's very cute that you're pretending to be like Franziska von Karma, but Halloween is still a long way off, so do you think you could stop it and start acting normally again?"

"Miss von Karma told me that girls should be in charge, not boys," Pearl said. "That means I don't have to listen to you, Mister Phoenix Wright."

Phoenix sighed. "Well, it looks like we'll have to cook something else, or else go out for dinner."

"Can we get burgers?" Maya asked.

"You had burgers last night," Phoenix said.

"I still like burgers!" Maya said.

A thought from his earlier conversation with Larry crossed Phoenix's mind. "Hey, Maya, speaking of going out, how would you like to go shopping for a new outfit?"

"Shopping for a new outfit?" Maya asked. "Why?"

"Well, it's just that you wear the same clothes every day," Phoenix said. "I just thought you might want to switch things up a bit and, I dunno, get something cute to wear."

Maya's jaw dropped. "You don't think I'm cute?"

"Mister Nick, what a horrible thing to say! You should always say Maya is cute!" Pearl said. Then she started crying loudly.

"I didn't say Maya isn't cute!" Phoenix said.

"You didn't say what?" Maya asked. It was hard to hear over Pearl's crying.

"Maya isn't cute!" Phoenix said loudly.

"NICK!" Maya cried.

"Ack!" Phoenix said. "No, I didn't _say_ Maya isn't cute! I don't--!"

"That's it!" Maya said. "Just for that, Pearl and I get to have dinner, and you don't get to come!"

"Yeah!" Pearl said. "You big meanie!"

"Hold it!" Phoenix cried. "You misunder—"

Pearl threw her whip at Phoenix. The handle hit him in the eye.

"Ow!" Phoenix cried.

"We're leaving!" Maya said, marching out of the room, and dragging Pearl behind her. "You can stay here and eat off the floor, like a dog."

"Ooo, can we get a puppy?" Pearl asked.

"Maybe later," Maya said.

And so, Phoenix was left all alone in his office, with food all over the floor and his two best friends angry at him.

_Serves me right for listening to Larry_, Phoenix thought. _When something stinks, it's usually the Butz._

* * *

"Okay, Edgeworth," Phoenix said into the phone. "I distracted Franziska for you."

"Indeed you did," Edgeworth said. "Capital job, Wright."'

"Are you going to tell me _why_ you needed her distracted today?"

"No. It doesn't concern you."

"Well, it better have been worth it," Phoenix grumbled. "Franziska turned Pearl into a mini-her, and now Maya refuses to have dinner with me."

"I have better things to do than listen to your relationship problems," Edgeworth said. "In any case, you held up your end of the bargain, so I held up mine—I talked to Prosecutor Skye about dropping all charges against Iris."

Something about Edgeworth's statement struck Phoenix.

"Hold it," Phoenix said. "Don't you mean you _will_ talk to Prosecutor Skye about Iris?"

"No, I already _have_ talked to her about it."

"So, that means...you talked to Prosecutor Skye before I distracted Franziska?"

"Yes."

"But...what would you have done if I didn't distract her?"

"I knew you would hold up your end of the bargain," Edgeworth said. "Whenever you make a promise, Wright, you keep it. Now, I have business to attend to. Good night."

Edgeworth hung up the phone, and Phoenix scratched his head. Did Edgeworth just give him a compliment?

* * *

Maya and Pearl returned about an hour later. They were still mad at Phoenix.

"Hello, Maya," Phoenix said.

"I'm not talking to you until you apologize, _Phoenix_," Maya said, using his full name because she was angry with him.

"Yeah!" Pearl said. "You need to apolojoo—Apollo Jus—say you're sorry!"

"You misheard what I said earlier—"

"That's not an apology," Maya said to Phoenix, even though she wasn't talking to him.

Phoenix sighed. He hated when Maya acted grumpy like this. She had done it before a few times, most recently when he said he didn't like the Pink Princess movie. Maya had refused to talk to him for an entire week after that.

If he didn't do something soon, he was in for some rough times ahead.

"Maya, please!" Phoenix said. "Don't get mad at me again! I think you're, er, very pretty!"

Pearl hit Phoenix with her whip. "You can do better than that!"

"Ow!" Phoenix said. "Okay, you're amazingly pretty! I love your top knot! It's very, um, unique!"

"It's not a top knot!" Maya said. "You are the worst boyfriend ever!"

Uh oh. Things were getting worse. Distraction time.

"So, um Wendy Oldbag says that she—"

Maya punched Phoenix in the shoulder. "Are you even _listening_ to me?" she said angrily, her eyes welling up with tears. "Don't you understand—?"

So much for distracting Maya. Phoenix needed to come up with a humongous distraction that would stop Maya from yelling. Either that, or run away as fast as possible.

Almost instinctively, Phoenix grabbed Maya and shoved his mouth against hers, cutting off her speech. If nothing else, he could get her to be quiet for a few seconds.

"Don't..." Phoenix began to say, then stopped. Don't what? He had completely forgotten what he was going to say.

"Don't...be upset," Phoenix said. "I think you're...very pretty."

* * *

Phoenix and Maya talked later that night, and Phoenix explained everything.

"You listened to _Larry?_" Maya asked. "No wonder you were acting so dumb!"

Phoenix huffed. "Well, you were listening to Franziska. That's why you were so mad. Right?"

"Um...no?" Maya said. "Why would you say that?"

"Well....Franziska gave you and Pearl a lecture today, right? What did she talk about?"

"She talked about how girls are perfect, and guys are slobs," Maya said. "So it's up to the girl to take control of everything."

"I don't like the sound of that..." Phoenix said. If Maya was in charge of the office, not him, she'd probably end up spending the rent on a month's supply of burgers.

"I think she only said that because she likes to be bossy, though," Maya said. "She also talked about modest clothing and bras and periods and—"

"P-p-p-periods?"

"Yeah," Maya said. "I'm kinda late with my period this month, although that's probably because last month's was extra-long, and—"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix shouted.

* * *

"Sorry for yelling at you earlier," Maya said. "I get emotional sometimes."

Phoenix nodded. "Remember what happened after Manfred von Karma hit you with the stun gun?" he asked.

Phoenix could still remember everything. Von Karma's evil grin as he sent 600,000 volts through their bodies. Waking up on the floor, head throbbing. Then, noticing that Maya was still on the ground, not moving. For a few horrible seconds, Phoenix thought she was dead, until he noticed she was breathing.

His relief was short-lived. Maya woke up in pain, physical and emotional. She started crying about how useless she was—useless as a spirit medium, useless as an attorney, and now, thanks to her blunder, Phoenix was going to lose the trial. "I wish I hadn't woken up at all!" she had said.

"That was horrible," Maya said.

"You really scared me back then," Phoenix said.

"What?" Maya asked. "_I_ scared you? Not Edgeworth or von Karma?"

"Nope, the person who scared me the most was you," Phoenix said. "Seeing you hurt is bad. Seeing you hurt yourself is worse. But seeing you hurt yourself with lies like 'I'm useless' was worst of all. It scared me way worse than the thought of losing the trial."

"I'm sorry I scared you," Maya said.

"You're a good person, Maya," Phoenix said. "Don't ever think that you're worthless. You don't deserve to be sad like that."

"I'm not sad anymore," Maya said, snuggling against Phoenix. "I'm with you."

* * *

Phoenix and Maya were in court. Maya was sitting down in a chair because standing up was too hard for her.

"Of course I know what the murder weapon is," Phoenix said.

"You shouldn't lie like that, Nick," Maya said. "You're setting a bad example for my baby!"

"Baby?" Phoenix asked.

Maya patted her stomach. Phoenix's eyes bulged out. Judging by the size of her stomach, Maya either went on a burger-eating rampage, or she was six months pregnant!

"You can't be pregnant!" Phoenix cried. "We...I mean, you and I...we haven't..."

"Of course we haven't!" Maya snapped. "It's Edgeworth's child!"

Edgeworth winked at Maya from across the courtroom, then made an obscene gesture towards her.

"Miles Junior will have a wonderful life!" Maya said.

"No! Nooooo!" Phoenix cried.

Suddenly, Phoenix woke up. Still in a post-sleep haze, he grabbed his phone and called Edgeworth.

"Wright? Is this you? It's two in the morning! You'd better have a—"

"EDGEWORTH! HOW DARE YOU GET MY GIRLFRIEND PREGNANT?" Phoenix yelled. "I WILL NEVER, _EVER_ TRUST YOU AGAIN!"

"What the devil are you—?"

Phoenix hung up his phone, then got back in his bed.

Maya knocked on the door. "Phoenix, are you okay? I heard shouting. You woke me up."

"Everything's fine," Phoenix mumbled. "I just told Edgeworth he can't name your baby after me."

Maya scratched her head. Did Phoenix just say something about her baby? She must have been more tired than she thought.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day, Phoenix, Pearl and Maya had breakfast together. Pearl was happy that Phoenix and Maya were talking to each other again, and she made up a happy tune by hitting her whip against the floor several times.

"Pearl, please stop whipping the floor," Phoenix said.

Pearl whipped Phoenix instead.

"Go back to whipping the floor!" Phoenix begged.

"I'll handle this," Maya told Phoenix. "Pearl, no whips at the breakfast table."

"Awww..." Pearl said. Whipping things all the time was fun. No wonder the mean prosecutor lady did it. "Can't I just whip one more--?"

"No, Pearl." Maya said.

Pearl whipped Maya. "Fool!" she cried.

"That's it, Pearl!" Maya said. "You just earned yourself a ten-minute summoning!"

"Ten minute summoning?" Phoenix asked.

"In Kurain, we punish kids by making them summon people," Maya said. "It's like a time-out."

"Oh," Phoenix said.

Pearl pouted for a bit, then she closed her eyes and concentrated. Soon, Mia was sitting at the table with Phoenix and Maya.

"Hi!" Mia said.

"Hey, Chief!" Phoenix said.

"Hi, Sis!" Maya said. "We thought you'd like to have breakfast with us!"

"Great!" Mia said. "I haven't eaten anything in years!"

Mia reached for her fork, and she caught a glimpse of her sleeve. She looked down at her clothes. As far as she could see, it was pink and had ruffles.

"Did Miles Edgeworth somehow get the ability to summon me?" she asked.

"Pearl is wearing new clothes," Maya said. "Don't you like them?"

"Oh," Mia said. "Well, I'm not so sure about the color, but at least _this _outfit doesn't make me look like I have giant cleavage. Right, Phoenix?"

Sweat started pouring down Phoenix's forehead. Mia's cleavage was _not_ a topic he was comfortable discussing. "I, um...I..."

Maya giggled. "Nick's all nervous now. You should have seen him yesterday when I said my period was—"

"Let's talk about something else!" Phoenix blurted out.

Mia and Maya laughed.

"Okay," Mia said. "So how are things going with you two lovebirds?"

"We're not lovebirds!" Phoenix protested.

"Yeah!" Maya said. "Birds have wings!"

_I don't think Maya understands the concept of lovebirds..._ Phoenix thought to himself.

"Of course," Mia said. "But are you two getting married, are you going out, or what?"

Phoenix and Maya looked at each other.

"No," Phoenix said.

"Yes," Maya said, at the same time.

"What do you mean, 'yes'?" Phoenix asked Maya.

"You're my new boyfriend," Maya said.

"No, I'm not!" Phoenix insisted.

"Hmmm..." Mia said. "Have you two gone out on any dates?"

"Why should that matter to you?" Phoenix asked, bluntly. "No offense, but you're dead."

"What my sister does _is_ my business, Phoenix," Mia said, getting stern. "I want to make sure that she's happy for the rest of her life."

"So do I," Phoenix said. "I care about Maya, too. That doesn't make me her boyfriend any more than it makes you her boyfriend."

"Objection!" Maya cried loudly, pointing her finger at Phoenix.

Phoenix and Mia stopped talking and waited for Maya to continue her objection, but apparently, that was all she had to say.

After a few seconds, Mia asked, "Well...what it your objection?"

"That's...that's...not a very nice thing to say!" Maya said.

"It's not nice to say I care about you?" Phoenix asked.

"It's not nice to say you're not my boyfriend, because you are!" Maya said.

"But I'm not!" Phoenix protested. "Mia, help me out here!"

"This is something for you two to decide, not me," Mia said. "Although as I understand it, Maya is the closest thing you've had to girlfriend in a long time, Phoenix."

"I can get a girlfriend any time I want," Phoenix protested. "I just...haven't dated anyone in a while."

Mia tilted her head to the side. "How long is 'a while'?"

"Three years," Phoenix said.

"And how long have you known Maya?"

"Three years," Phoenix muttered, seeing where Mia was going with this line of questioning.

"Now _that's_ an odd coincidence," Mia said, winking at Maya. "Right after he met you, Phoenix decided not to date any other girls."

"I didn't decide that," Phoenix said. "I just...stopped dating, that's all."

"Whatever you say, Phoenix. Whatever you say. See you two later."

Mia turned back into Pearl. Maya was giving Phoenix an odd look, and he suddenly felt the urge to blush and look away.

"Hey! Mystic Mia ate all my food!" Pearl cried. "Not fair!"

* * *

Later that day, Maya was working at the desk, making copies of forms. She would say that it was the most boring job ever, if you asked her—which Phoenix hadn't, because he knew she'd complain.

Maya was very glad when someone knocked on the office door. It was a distraction from the boring job!

"Come in!" Maya called.

Miles Edgeworth stepped into the office. "I have some papers for you to fill out concerning Iris' release," he said.

Maya frowned. More forms for her to make copies of was not what she wanted.

"I also have a package that you should find rather...amusing," Edgeworth said, giving a wry smile. "Make sure that Wright reads this."

"Yeah, sure," Maya said, taking the package and papers off of the desk. "Thanks, Mr. Edgeworth."

Edgeworth didn't say anything in response. He just stood there and looked at Maya. It was a very strange look, too.

It took Maya a few seconds to realize he was looking at her waist. She thought he was looking at the new bow and ribbon she bought recently—the old one got messed up during all those problems with Dahlia.

"Do you like my bow?" Maya asked. "It's new! See how it's all shiny?"

Maya spun around in a circle to show off her bow and ribbon.

"It's, er, very nice," Edgeworth said.

"It's soft, too!" Maya said. "Feel it!"

"I...er..."

"Don't be shy!" Maya said. She grabbed Edgeworth's hand and put it against her bow.

Edgeworth's skin suddenly turned paler.

"What's wrong?" Maya asked.

"Wright called me at 2:00 AM last night with a very odd accusation," Edgeworth said. "I'm not sure how to ask this, but...are you pregnant?"

"What?" Maya asked. "No!"

It was at this moment that Phoenix entered the office. He saw Edgeworth's hand on Maya's stomach, and he distinctly heard Edgeworth say the word "pregnant".

Suddenly, Phoenix's nightmare came rushing back to him. What if...what if it _wasn't_ just a dream?

"I don't believe you, Edgeworth!" Phoenix shouted.

"Augh! Wright, this isn't—"

"You got my girlfriend _pregnant? _How dare you even _think_ about touching Maya?"

Maya gasped. "I'm PREGNANT?" she asked. "I know I'm a few days late, but that doesn't mean—"

Phoenix gawked. "You don't _know_ you're pregnant with Edgeworth's baby?"

"_Edgeworth's_ baby?"

"Oh, for the love of the bar exam," Edgeworth said. "Wright! I did not impregnate your girlfriend!"

"You didn't?"

"Of course not!" Edgeworth said. "Now stop this foolishness immediately and leave me alone!"

Edgeworth stormed out of the room.

"Er, sorry about that, Edgeworth! Bye!" Phoenix called after Edgeworth as he left.

"Bye, Mr. Edgeworth! Thanks for clearing that up for us!" Maya said, waving.

Things were quiet for a moment.

"So..." Phoenix said, trying to change the topic. "Did you finish making all those copies?"

"Oh no, you don't," Maya said, balling her hands into fists. "We're not talking about that now. First, you have to tell me why you thought I was pregnant with Edgeworth's baby."

"I, er...it happened in a dream I had last night."

Phoenix grimaced as he said that. It sounded _really_ stupid.

"Oh," Maya said. Then she blinked, five times in a row.

"I have to go on break now," Maya said. "Bye!"

Then, Maya ran out of the office, even faster than Edgeworth had.

Phoenix scratched his head. Where was Maya going?

* * *

Maya had left for her quiet thinking spot, so she could think about things. She always liked to come here to sort things out when she had problems, and she had some _major_ problems now.

Only...these problems couldn't be solved by thinking. They had to be solved by talking to Phoenix.

So when Maya went back to the office, that was the first thing she did.

"Nick, can we talk?" Maya asked. "Like, have a serious discussion?"

"Sure," Phoenix said. "What's up?" He figured Maya wanted to talk about the whole "pregnant with Edgeworth's baby" thing.

"Nick...do you like me?"

"Of course I do," Phoenix said. "Why would you need to ask that?"

"I know you like me, but whenever my sister or anyone else asks about us, you always start acting like being my boyfriend is the worst thing ever."

"Oh, well, that's simple," Phoenix said. "I like you, but not in that way."

"You don't understand," Maya said. "It really hurts my feelings when you act like that. Why do you have to be so mean?"

Maya's words stung Phoenix. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know I was hurting your feelings. I was just...I don't want to—"

"And then you got really mad at Edgeworth for being with me. You called me your girlfriend then."

"I did?" Phoenix asked. He thought back to that moment. "I _guess_ I did..."

"And you were so nice to me when we went on our date and everything," Maya said, beginning to cry. "I don't understand, Nick! How can you be so nice to me one minute, and so mean to me the next? First you yell at my sister for thinking we're a couple, then you yell at Edgeworth for thinking we're _not_ a couple! Which one is it, Nick? What do you want? I don't think I can take this anymore!"

Phoenix cringed. He didn't like to see Maya's feelings get hurt...and it was ten times worse when he was the one who had hurt her feelings.

"Please don't cry," Phoenix said, giving Maya a hug. "You know I love you, right?"

Maya nodded.

"I'm just...that's why I don't want to be your boyfriend."

"Because you love me? That doesn't make any sense."

"Because I don't want to hurt you," Phoenix said. "I don't think either you or I are ready for a relationship right now."

"But why not?" Maya asked. "Why _can't_ you be my boyfriend? I can understand if you don't want to get married immediately, but what's so horrible about going out with me?"

"Nothing," Phoenix said.

"Then why won't you do it?"

"I'm way too old to be your boyfriend," Phoenix said. "And like I said, I don't want to hurt your feelings."

"You already hurt my feelings by publicly rejecting me," Maya said. "And I don't care how old you are. You know that."

Phoenix grabbed his forehead. Maybe he was confusing Maya, but she was confusing him, too. "Well, then, what do you want from me, Maya?"

"I want you to try going out with me," Maya said. "Try it for real, instead of acting like it's horrible."

"But why?" Phoenix demanded. "Why is it so important to you?"

"Because I love you!" Maya said. "I love you and care about you, and I don't want to see anything bad happen to you, and I know you feel the same way! I feel different around you than I do around other people! I realized that when I was trapped in the Inner Temple last week! I feel..."

"That even though bad things happen, everything will work out all right in the end because you're around," Phoenix said, ending Maya's sentence, although not exactly the same way she would have finished it. "I know that, Maya. I feel that way about you."

"See?" Maya said. "And maybe that's not love, and maybe Pearl's wrong about us being special someones, but that's _something_, and I think we should try to follow up on it."

Phoenix didn't say anything in response, so Maya continued.

"It's important to me," Maya said. "I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose that feeling. I've lost so many other things...my mom, my sister...I don't want to lose you, too."

"Oh, Maya..." Phoenix said. He hugged her again, then tried wiping away some of her tears. "If you really want to, I'll do it. I'll try being your boyfriend."

"Really?" Maya asked. "Even though I...you...everything?"

"Of course," Phoenix said. "I want to see you happy."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The next few days passed quickly. Maya's period finally came, much to Phoenix's relief.

Well, maybe not _relief_, because it meant he had two angry girls living with him. You see, Pearl still hadn't stopped acting like Franziska von Karma, even though Phoenix had _tried_ to convince her to start acting normal again.

But in all other respects, things were fine. Being Maya's "official" boyfriend was...well, it wasn't all that _different_ in Phoenix's opinion. He and Maya always spent most of their time together. The only real difference Phoenix could see was that the time they spent alone was now called "dates". That, and Maya was quicker to give him hugs and kisses. But overall, there wasn't much of a change.

There was, however, a big change when Phoenix got a packet from the DA's office.

"Good news," Phoenix said. "They're closing the books on the Misty Fey murder case."

"Somebody wrote a book about it?" Pearl asked. "Who?"

"No, Pearl," Maya said. "'Closing the books' means that now the case is solved, they're going to stop working on it."

"What does that mean?" Pearl wondered.

"For one thing, it means that Iris is being let out of prison," Phoenix said.

"Yay!" Pearl cheered.

"It also means you get the right of _aufugit urbe_ back," Phoenix said.

"What?" Maya asked.

"It means you can go back home now," Phoenix said. "We were all forbidden from leaving the city in case we were needed as witnesses."

"I didn't know that," Maya said. "So that means we can go back to Kurain?"

"Yes," Phoenix said. "I figured we could pick Iris up, have dinner with her, and then send her off to Kurain with Pearl tomorrow."

"Now you can catch up on all the homework you missed, Pearly!" Maya said happily.

"Boo!" Pearl said, hitting Maya with her whip. "Homework is hard!"

"How many times do I have to tell you _no whipping people?_" Phoenix asked.

Pearl whipped Phoenix in response. "Fool!" she said.

Then Pearl skipped off to her room. "Yay!" she said. "I get to go back home with my new sister! I'm going to go pack my suitcase now!

Phoenix rubbed his cheek. "We have to do something about Pearl," he said. "We can't send her back home when she's in mini-Franziska mode."

"You're probably right," Maya said. "I suppose that's unfair to the people at Kurain."

"And it's unfair to Iris," Phoenix said. "She's expecting a sweet little girl for a sister, not a whip-happy monster."

"Hmmm..." Maya said, thinking. "I've got it! Why don't we ask Franziska's older sister how _she_ deals with it?"

"Franziska has a _sister?_" Phoenix asked.

"Or a brother," Maya said. "Remember when Edgeworth was on trial? Manfred von Karma said he had a seven-year-old granddaughter."

"I don't remember that," Phoenix said.

"He said that she had a pet dog named Phoenix," Maya said.

"_Now_ I remember," Phoenix said. Von Karma had said that in an attempt to discredit Phoenix's arguments. Did that mean there were more von Karmas out there in the world?

Phoenix shuddered. "Let's not get any other von Karmas involved in this. I don't think my nerves could handle it."

"Then what do we do?" Maya asked.

"Well, if we can't _force_ Pearl to stop acting like Franziska..." Phoenix said. "Then we have to convince her that being like Franziska is a bad thing."

* * *

Phoenix and Maya began **Operation No More Franziska** shortly afterwards. Phoenix brought in medical charts and pictures of people who suffered from whip wounds. Maya bought a picture that showed ruffles were totally out of style. Even Detective Gumshoe came in and told Pearl what Franziska was really like.

Sadly, nothing seemed to work. Pearl was still as happy as ever pretending to be the blue-haired perfectionist.

"This is hopeless," Phoenix sighed, sitting down in a chair.

"I don't suppose you tried asking Franziska to come over and set things right?" Maya asked.

"I did," Phoenix said. "She called me a foolishly foolish fooling fool."

"Four fools," Maya said. "Ouch."

"Yeah, she usually never gets that mad."

"It's okay," Maya said, giving Phoenix a kiss on the cheek. "I don't think you're a fool."

"Thanks, Maya," Phoenix said. "Well, I might as well try Edgeworth and see if he has any bright ideas."

* * *

"Edgeworth, I need to talk to you about Franziska."

"Ah," Edgeworth chuckled. "Sorry to upset you, Wright, but I figured you deserved it after waking me up at 2:00 in the morning."

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The article I sent you. What are _you_ talking about?"

"You sent me an article? When?"

"It was in the package I left for you when I dropped off Iris' release forms, Wright," Edgeworth said, irritated. "Don't tell me you didn't read it. It cost me fifty dollars to have translated, you know."

"I didn't know you left me an article," Phoenix said.

"So you ignored my act of charity and accused me of impregnating your legal assistant," Edgeworth said. "Nice, Wright. Really nice."

Edgeworth then hung up on Phoenix. He was rather upset—all that work for nothing. So much for trying to get the best of Phoenix.

* * *

"Did Edgeworth have any ideas?" Maya asked.

"He just got mad at me for not reading the package he dropped off," Phoenix said.

"I forgot about that," Maya said. "I think I put it in the second drawer on the right.

Phoenix rooted around in the drawer until he found the package. Inside it was a German magazine. Phoenix couldn't read it, but the words _Franziska von Karma_ jumped out at him from the cover.

"What is this?" Phoenix asked himself.

"Hey, there's a note from Edgeworth," Maya said. "_Dear Wright, I thought you would find this article rather amusing. Since I doubt you read German, I included a translation._"

"Huh," Phoenix said. Underneath the magazine, as Edgeworth said, was a printed translation. Phoenix read the title.

**A Country of Fools**

The Frustrating Life And Thankfully Short Times of Franziska Von Karma in the United States of America

"What on Earth?" Phoenix asked. He quickly scanned the first page, and his name jumped out at him.

_

* * *

_

_America is a country of fools. I had the particular misfortune to meet the biggest fool of all the foolish fools in that country, the King of Fools, Mr. Phoenix Wright._

* * *

"Oh, great," Phoenix said. "Fraziska wrote about us in her autobiography."

"She _did?_" Maya asked. "What'd she write?"

Phoenix started reading out loud.

* * *

_This Phoenix Wright fool had gotten some small fame as a defense attorney for having won six trials. As if winning six trials is something worth bragging about. It was not until I won my two hundredth trial in a row that I deigned it proper to call myself an Ace Attorney. However, this Phoenix Wright fool was full of himself, absolutely bloated with his miniscule accomplishments, and so he insisted on taking the most foolish courses of action, foolishly confident that he could never be wrong._

_This Phoenix Wright fool has, amazingly, found someone even more foolish than he is to serve as his sidekick. Maya Fey, a ridiculous fool with an even more foolish hairdo. Quite obviously, she will never amount to anything in her foolish, pitiful life. When she is not busy sucking up to Phoenix Wright, foolishly destroying evidence and wasting the time of people who are much more important than she will ever be, she works at her "profession" of speaking to the spirits of dead people._

_Of course, fool that she is, Maya Fey believes that communicating with the dead is possible, and she believes that she is quite good at it. For such a fool, she has a large imagination._

* * *

"No way!" Maya said. "That's so...so mean!"

"This could be exactly what we're looking for!" Phoenix said.

* * *

And it _was_ what they were looking for. Pearl got upset when she learned what Franziska wrote about Phoenix and Maya, and when she read what Franziska wrote about _her_, that did it.

"What a meanie!" Pearl said, throwing her whip in the trash. "Saying my hairdo is the weirdest-looking thing she's ever seen!"

_She kinda has a point, though..._ Phoenix thought to himself. Nobody else he knew had two giant circles for hair.

"I'm never going to be like her again!" Pearl said. "I'm going to go back to being like you, Mystic Maya."

"Acting like me is _always_ a good idea," Maya said. "Right, Nick?"

"Er, right," Phoenix said. "Except for the part about watching kids shows when you're nineteen."

"Nick!" Maya scolded.

"Just kidding, honey!" Phoenix said. _...Kinda._

* * *

So it was that Pearl was back to normal when Iris came over for dinner that night.

"It's so nice of you to help me out like this," Iris said. "I never thought my life would turn out so well after all the bad things that happened."

"Don't worry about it," Maya said. "Kurain needs somebody from the Fey Family to help look over things while I'm here with Nick. Why couldn't it be you?"

"So you're going to stay here with Phoenix instead of coming back to Kurain?" Iris asked.

"Yep," Maya said. "I'm going to stay here with my honey bunny, Nick."

Pearl leaned in towards Iris. "Mr. Nick is Mystic Maya's special someone," she whispered.

"I could tell," Iris whispered back.

"They're going to be married soon!" Pearl said.

"Woah!" Phoenix said. "Maya may be my girlfriend, but marriage is still a long way off!"

"No it's not," Pearl said. "Those are the rules when you kiss Mystic Maya."

Phoenix and Maya laughed.

Pearl frowned. "I'm serious! Mom always said we had to get ready for when you found a boyfriend."

"What?" Maya asked. "Ready for what?"

"To throw a party?" Pearl guessed. "I don't know, but Mom was really worried about you kissing boys."

Phoenix didn't like the sound of that. If Morgan Fey was worried about something, he probably should be, too.

"Well, in any case, I think you two make a great couple," Iris said. "Phoenix is a very sweet boy, Maya. You're lucky to have him in your life."

"I think so, too," Maya said.

"Ha ha," Phoenix laughed. "All three of you as my friends? _I'm_ the lucky one!"

* * *

Phoenix and Maya didn't hear back from Iris or Pearl until Iris called the next week.

"Wright and Co. Law Offices," Maya said. "Have you been accused of murder recently?"

"Maya? Is that you? It's Iris." Iris sounded panicky, but Maya didn't notice.

"Hey, cousin! How's Kurain? Do you like it there?"

"Something's wrong," Iris said. "You and Phoenix have to come here, right away."

"What's the matter?" Maya asked.

"I was reading up on the laws and it—it looks like you're in big trouble."

"I am? No way! What kind of trouble?"

Iris read off a piece of paper. " 'Should such circumstances arise, the Master of the Kurain Channeling Technique is to be beheaded and replaced by...' I don't know, I'm not good at this law stuff. Phoenix is, though, so I think he needs to look at this _right now_."

"Why don't you ask Mia for help? She's good at legal stuff."

"Who's Mia?" Iris asked.

"Er...never mind. We're on our way."

Maya hung up the phone. "Nick! We're going on a field trip!" she called.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I didn't know the legal term for "not being allowed to leave town because you might be called as a witness", so I just threw in the Latin words for "fleeing the city".


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Pearl was happy to see Phoenix and Maya again.

Iris was not so happy.

"I was just going through the information on the Head of Kurain Village," Iris said, bursting into tears. "You know, because I'm the oldest Fey in the village. And I think they're going to kill Maya!"

"Kill _me?_" Maya asked. "Why?"

"It's all my fault! Bad things happen wherever I go!" Iris cried. "I should have gone back to the temple on the mountains, where there was nobody for me to give bad luck to besides Sister Bikini!"

"Iris, calm down!" Phoenix said. "I'm sure Maya isn't going to die. What makes you think that?"

Iris sniffed and pulled out a law book. "It's in this book of all the rules they have in Kurain," she said. "And they're so strict about what the head of the village can and cannot do!"

Pearl pulled on Phoenix's jacket. "You're not going to let them kill Mystic Maya, are you, Mr. Nick?"

"I'm sure Maya will be fine," Phoenix said. "Why don't you all show Maya your new rooms, while I read this?"

"Okay!" Pearl said. "Maya, you're going to love Iris' room! It's so pretty!"

* * *

As Phoenix read through Kurain's book of laws, he remembered that Mia once said that the Fey family had a bloody history when it came to determining who should be Master of the Kurain Channeling Technique. And while Phoenix _thought_ she was exaggerating, it turns out that she wasn't. There were dozens of rules about how succession should go, most with really horrible penalties.

For example, the law Iris was worried about was in the section of what to do when the Head of Kurain (that would be Misty Fey) mysteriously disappeared for several years. The next-in-line (that would be Maya) was automatically assumed to be behind the disappearance, and would be punished by beheading. This law was apparently enacted to cut down on the number of kidnappings performed by the second-in-charge.

Fortunately, the law came with many, many conditions attached (it had apparently been abused one too many times by someone who was third-in-line), and Phoenix was nearly positive that it didn't apply to Maya.

It took Phoenix a good deal of time just to assess the situation. Misty Fey had mysteriously disappeared, but the first-in-line at the time of disappearance was Mia, not Maya. Only they were minors at the time, so control reverted to Morgan Fey, but Morgan Fey was now in jail, so control reverted to Maya, but Iris was Morgan's daughter and she is older than Maya, which means _she_ should be in charge...right?

Phoenix shut the book. The whole thing was giving him a headache. He needed some more time to figure out how to describe the situation from a legal standpoint. Maybe he could classify Misty Fey as "recently deceased" instead of "disappeared under mysterious circumstances"...

* * *

Phoenix decided to give himself a break and see what Maya and the others were up to. He wandered around for a bit, then found Maya, Iris and Mia (Pearl channeling Mia, that is) having some food in the garden.

"So I asked him to give me the clipboard, only he was so nervous that it accidentally slipped out of his hands and hit the judge on the nose!" Mia said.

Maya and Iris laughed.

Phoenix winced. It sounded like Mia was telling everyone about the first time she let him join her in the courtroom as her junior partner.

"Hey, Mia," Phoenix said, walking over to the three girls.

"Hey, Phoenix! We were just talking about you!" Mia said. "Remember that time you hit the judge with the clipboard?"

"It was an accident!" Phoenix said.

"Then when you helped him back in his chair, you ended up stepping on his gavel?"

Maya and Iris laughed again.

"That was an accident, too!" Phoenix said. "And I'll thank you not to tell embarrassing stories about me behind my back!"

Mia grinned. "I just want to make sure Maya knows exactly what kind of man she's dating, that's all."

"So how'd the legal studies go, Nick?" Maya asked.

"I...I don't really understand it," Phoenix said. "But neither you or Iris are responsible for Misty Fey's death, so I see no reason why either of you should be punished for it."

"I can look through the legal files, if you want," Mia offered. "I'm pretty familiar with them, because I had to go through them when I left Kurain to become a lawyer."

"Really?" Phoenix asked. "That would be great!"

Mia shrugged. "I abdicated my position as Master of Kurain to work at a law firm in Los Angeles," she said. "Maya's doing the same basic thing, so it shouldn't be _too_ hard for me to clear it, legally."

"I'm so sorry if I got you in trouble," Iris said.

"It's not your fault, Iris!" Maya said.

Iris had some self-esteem issues, Phoenix noticed.

"Yeah, Iris," he said. "We would have had to deal with this problem even if we hadn't met you. Don't blame yourself for it."

"But I'm ruining everything!" Iris insisted. "I can't stay here in Kurain. I don't have any spiritual powers. I'll just get in everyone's way!"

"That's nonsense," Phoenix said. "You haven't even been here for an entire week yet."

"You really should give yourself a chance," Mia said. "I know I just met you, but you seem like a completely competent person. I'm sure you can make things work if you try."

Iris was teary. "You three are all so nice to me..." she said.

* * *

Phoenix, Maya and Iris left to see more of Kurain, while Mia went through the legal material. She assured them that it would be really simple for Maya to leave Kurain and have Iris stay to help run the village in her place.

Phoenix should have remembered Mia's motto: a lawyer smiles hardest when things look their worst. Because although Mia was right about Maya not being executed, there was still a _major_ unexpected problem.

About a half-hour later, Mia came running from the library in obvious distress. "Phoenix! Maya!"

"What's wrong?" Phoenix asked.

"Maya's going to be killed, isn't she?" Iris asked.

"Nothing like that," Mia said. "It's just that...Maya officially became the Master of Kurain when she first appeared after Mom died."

"So?"

"So read this!"

Mia pointed out a section of the law book that dealt with what to do when a new master was chosen.

_If, on the day of a new master's inception, she should wish to pick a man to be her husband and by him, continue the bloodline, she must signify this by kissing him publicly within a church, temple, court of law, or any other place where marriages may be performed. Should the man refuse to marry her or fail to do so within six months, he must be killed by hanging of the neck until dead._

"This had better be some sort of joke," Phoenix said.

Mia looked apologetic. "Sorry, but it's the law. It's pretty typical for a matriarchal society like the one here in Kurain."

Maya tried reading the book. "I don't get it. What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means you and Phoenix are getting married."

"WHAAAT?"

* * *

Phoenix tried examining the legal documents himself, looking for a loophole, but the rules were pretty strict: either he had to marry Maya, or he would be given the death penalty.

"So...it looks like we're going to be married after all, Nick!" Maya said, trying to cheer Phoenix up by making a joke.

"Either marry you or be executed," Phoenix said. "Some choice."

"What if I officially quit as Master of Kurain?" Maya asked. "Would that change anything?"

"No, we'd still have to get married," Phoenix said. "Married. Married! To you!"

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. It's just...I'm not ready to get married. It's too soon. We haven't even been dating a month!"

"I guess you're right..." Maya said.

"Of course he's Wright," Mia said. "That's his name."

Maya laughed, delighted at Mia's joke.

_Why is it that no one laughs whenever _I _make that joke?_ Phoenix wondered.

"This is not the time for jokes, Mia," Phoenix said sternly.

"I'm sorry," Mia said. "I couldn't help myself."

"It's not funny," Phoenix said. "My life is being turned upside-down, and you're making jokes!"

"Ah, come on, Phoenix. There's no need to freak out. You like Maya."

"That's what I'm saying!" Maya said.

"Excuse me?" Phoenix said. "Maya and I have to get married! Why am I the only one who thinks that it's a big deal?"

"I agree it's a big deal," Mia said. "It's just not the end of the world, that's all."

"That's all? _That's all?_ It's the end of _my_ world, at least!"

"Phoenix..."

"Nick?"

"You don't understand!" Phoenix said. "I didn't even _want_ to go out with Maya! It was all that dumb Godot's fault! He convinced everyone that I was in love with Maya, and everyone believed him, and I got forced into a relationship with a girl who's seven years younger than me and acts like a ten-year-old! Now I have to _marry_ her? Whatever happened to me having some control over my life? Why won't anybody ever listen to me? _I don't want to marry Maya!_"

Mia looked stunned.

Phoenix was breathing heavily. Somewhere during his rant, he had started shouting without realizing it. "I...I...sorry," he said. "I've been under a lot of stress about the whole Maya situation for a while now."

"I could tell," Mia said. "Look, why don't you sit down? We can talk about something else for a while."

"Something else? I can't think about anything else! This is so—"

"We're talking about something else," Mia ordered. "Like...Godot."

"What?"

"You're wrong about Godot. It's not pronounced 'Go-dot'. It's pronounced 'Go-doh'. The 't' is silent. It's French."

"What?" Phoenix asked. "But...he's not French!"

"Go figure," Mia said. "Diego was always a strange one, even when we were going out."

Phoenix closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Mia. I can't see you going out with Godot. "

"'Go-doh!' And he was very different back when he was Diego."

Phoenix shook his head. "I'm sorry. I _really_ don't like that guy."

"I'm not going to try to defend everything he did," Mia said. "It's just...I'm sure that you would have liked him if you had met him under different circumstances."

"If he wasn't trying to get revenge on me, you mean?"

"Yeah."

" 'I have come from the depths of hell to do battle with you.' He told me that all the time. I thought he was some sort of stalker zombie. Or maybe a robot that ran on coffee. I'm glad he's gone."

"Okay, good," Mia said. "You've stopped talking about Maya for a bit. Do you feel better now?"

"A little," Phoenix said. He let out a long breath. "Gosh, this situation is so messed up."

"I know," Mia said. She rubbed Phoenix's shoulder in a comforting sort of way. "It's okay, Phoenix. You'll make it through this.

"I hope," Phoenix muttered.

"And..." Mia looked thoughtful. "It's kind of my fault. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. It's the Kurain Laws' fault. And Godot's."

"Go-doh," Mia corrected. "And it _is_ sort of my fault. I was kind of pushy about you and Maya when I shouldn't have been."

"Believe me, I know. Why did you _do_ that?"

"I was worried about Maya, that's all," Mia said. "As hard as it is to believe, she's a grown-up now. She's no longer my little baby sister."

Phoenix silently agreed. Sometimes, it was _very_ hard to see Maya as an adult.

"But she's never shown any interest in dating whatsoever. You were the first person she ever showed any romantic interest in. I was...overanxious about seeing her have a boyfriend, so I was...pushy. I apologize."

"Don't worry about it," Phoenix said. "What's done is done, I guess. I'm over it by now."

"You are?" Mia asked, surprised. Given Phoenix's loud shouting just a few minutes ago, she would have expected him to be a _little_ angry with her. Instead, he seemed more depressed than angry.

"Yes," Phoenix said. "I've moved on to much bigger problems."

Suddenly, Phoenix remembered something.

"Wait, where's Maya?" he asked. "Wasn't she here with us just a moment ago?"

"Well..." Mia said. "She sort of ran crying out of the room when you went on your angry rant."

"Great," Phoenix said. "Just great."


	11. Chapter 11

Maya was in her old room, crying.

Phoenix was mad at her. He _hated_ her. He never wanted to be with her. She was just Mia's annoying little sister who tagged along with him everywhere.

And so she cried.

Someone knocked at the door. "Mystic Maya? Are you in here?"

It was Pearl. "Go away," Maya said.

Pearl took this to mean "come on in, please." She opened the door and said, "Mister Nick said something was wrong. What's—?"

Pearl gasped. "You're crying! What happened?"

"It's none of your business," Maya said.

"It is _too!_" Pearl said. "Who hurt your feelings? I'll slap him for you!"

"It's...it's Nick," Maya sniffled. "He checked the laws, and we...we have to get married."

"You and Mister Nick are going to be married? Yay!" Pearl said, bouncing up and down.

"Yeah, yay," Maya muttered.

"But that's _good_ news," Pearl said. "Why are you crying about it?"

"Nick said he doesn't want to get married. He doesn't like me."

"No! That's impossible!"

"He hates me, and he never wanted to go out with me in the first place, and he wishes I was dead."

"You don't say that to your special someone!" Pearl started clenching and unclenching her fists, preparing to give Phoenix the slapping session of a lifetime.

"Maybe we're _not_ special someones," Maya said. "I'm just a girl who forced her way into his life, and all I've ever done is make things worse for him. I should probably do what Mom did and leave forever to make everyone else's life easier."

"Don't say that, Mystic Maya!" Pearl said, starting to cry almost as hard as Maya was crying. "I don't want you to go away forever!"

Neither Maya nor Pearl noticed Phoenix at the doorway. He didn't say anything—he just watched. Watched as Maya said a series of horrible things, each one feeling like a punch to the gut. _Sort of what I did to her_, he thought grimly.

Maya smiled at Pearl's support. "Oh, Pearly...I'm not _really_ going to go away forever."

"But you said you would!"

"I didn't mean it," Maya said, giving Pearl a sideways hug. "I just said that because I was angry."

Phoenix took that as his cue to enter the room. "And I did the same thing," he said. "I'm sorry, Maya."

Pearl got up to smack Phoenix, but Maya beat her to it.

"You JERK!" Maya said, hitting Phoenix on the shoulder. "How could you SAY those horrible things? I thought you loved me!"

"I overreacted. I'm—"

"Should I summon that mean girl to beat him up?" Pearl asked.

"What mean girl?" Maya asked.

"The one with the red hair," Pearl said. "Dolly. Iris told me about her."

"NO!" Phoenix said.

"Yeah," Maya said, taking a few swings at Phoenix. "The only one here who gets to hurt Nick is _me!_ Hiiiii-yah-wah-boom!!"

Maya tried to do an odd-handstand/jump kick/uppercut combo, but ended up falling over.

"You watch too many samurai movies," Phoenix noted.

"See?" Maya said. "You don't like to watch the same movies that I do! We have nothing in common! I'm better off without you!"

"Please don't say that!" Pearl begged. Then she turned to Phoenix and slapped him. "You were mean to Mystic Maya!"

"I didn't mean it!" Phoenix said. "Look, Maya, I'm sorry! I overreacted to the whole marriage situation and said a bunch of things I didn't really mean."

"You didn't mean it?"

"Of course not," Phoenix said. "I didn't mean anything I said. Except maybe the part about Godot having to cut down on coffee."

Maya smiled for a second, then frowned again. "I'm still mad at you," she said. Then she sat down on the ground, crossed her legs and turned around so her back was to Phoenix.

"Of course you are," Phoenix said, feeling relieved. Mad Maya was good, in his opinion. Well, better than Crying Maya, anyway. Phoenix didn't like to see Maya cry.

Pearl scratched her head. "So...do I still slap Mr. Nick or not?"

"Do whatever you want," Maya said.

Phoenix tried rubbing Maya's shoulder. "Come on, Maya, don't be upset."

"Don't touch my shoulder."

"I never said I hated you," Phoenix said. "I could never get _that_ mad at you."

"I'm not talking to you!" Maya said to Phoenix.

Phoenix frowned at the back of Maya's head. And, while looking at the back of her head, he suddenly got an evil idea. It was time to do something he had always secretly wanted to do.

He reached for the ribbon that held Maya's top knot in place and yanked it off .

"Hey!" Maya said. She turned around and glared at him. "Not nice, Nick!"

Phoenix and Pearl laughed. Maya looked so funny with her hair down over her eyes.

"Grrr!" Maya said. She pushed on Phoenix's chest, but she leaned over too hard and fell into his lap. "You meanie!"

Phoenix helped Maya back up and brushed some of the hair out of her eyes. "Aw, come on, Maya. I think you look beautiful even if your hair is messed up."

"You're just saying that because I'm mad," Maya said.

"No, I'm not," Phoenix said. "You're always beautiful to me."

And then he kissed her.

When he pulled back, he smiled at Maya. She was contorting her face in various ways. "Nick, you, I, _I wanted_, ohhh...you...YOU JERK!"

She pushed Phoenix away.

"I want to be mad at you, and you're making it hard!" Maya accused.

"Then _don't_ be mad at me," Phoenix suggested.

"Hmmph," Maya said, getting up from the ground.

Pearl was still laughing.

"What's so funny?" Maya snapped at her.

"You look silly with long hair!" Pearl giggled.

"Oh, yeah? Let's see what YOU look like when someone undoes your hair!" Maya said.

"Eek!" Pearl said. She then ran out of the room with Maya in close pursuit.

Phoenix unconsciously rubbed his hair. It was a good thing his spikes weren't held up by ribbons.

* * *

So Maya was in a better mood when she and Phoenix took the train back to Los Angeles.

Phoenix was amazed—and slightly jealous—of Maya's ability to almost instantly forget bad things. Almost an hour after she had been rescued from Shelly de Killer, she had been laughing and joking as if nothing had happened. Somehow, she had managed to do the same thing with Phoenix's angry outburst.

Phoenix and Maya chatted for a while about Kurain, and how Pearl and Iris were doing. Pearl seemed to be doing better than Iris, but they agreed that Iris would get more comfortable in time.

The train hit a bump and everything came spilling out of Phoenix's pocket and into the seat—his wallet, his keys, and his magatama.

"Why do you have a magatama with you?" Maya asked.

"It's the one you gave me two years ago," Phoenix said. "When you were in prison after Dr. Grey died. I always carry it with me."

"That's sweet," Maya said. "A little obsessive, but sweet."

"You really think so?" Phoenix asked.

"Of course," Maya said. "I mean, you carry it _everywhere?_ That's totally obsessive!"

Phoenix winced. "I meant, do you really think it's sweet?"

"I think you're a sweet person," Maya said, snuggling onto Phoenix's arm. "I'm glad we're going to be married."

"Me too, I guess," Phoenix said.

"You _guess?_"

"Don't get me wrong," Phoenix said. "If I had to marry anyone, I'd pick you. But it's just...I'd rather be marrying you because you asked me to, not because I'm being forced to."

"Well...you could always still ask me," Maya pointed out.

Phoenix looked into Maya's face and saw her usual bright grin. He didn't like to admit it, but sometimes he loved it when Maya was in a playful mood like this.

"Okay," he said, getting out of his seat and getting down on one knee. "Maya Fey, will you marry me?"

"Of course!" Maya said.

Maya grabbed Phoenix and started kissing him. The two of them didn't stop until the train arrived back in LA.

**

* * *

****Six Months Later...**

Phoenix's suit felt scratchy. He didn't understand why he had to wear a black tuxedo instead of his normal suit.

"Stop fidgeting, Wright," Edgeworth muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "Everyone's staring at you."

"My suit itches," Phoenix complained.

"No, it doesn't. You're just having wedding jitters. Now calm down," Edgeworth commanded.

Phoenix had asked Edgeworth to be his best man at the wedding—it was a lot safer than asking Larry to do the job.

They were standing in the front of the courtroom. It was an odd place to have a wedding, Phoenix supposed, but the Kurain law said it had to take place here. It made sense, in a way. It was the place where they shared their first kiss.

The Judge was there, already in his seat. He banged his gavel for order.

"Very well," the Judge said. "I now call the marriage of Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey to order. Is the prosecution prepared?"

"This isn't a trial," Edgeworth said.

"Um...right," the Judge said. "Sorry, seeing you and Mr. Wright in court in the same time made me think...well..."

The Judge pounded his gavel again. "Present the first witness!" he said.

Pearl came down the aisle, throwing rose petals everywhere. As you would have guessed, she made the most adorable flower girl ever.

Then came all the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Detective Gumshoe came with Maggey Byrde. Miraculously, he had managed to get a tuxedo, even on his small salary. Phoenix knew it was mostly due to the fact that Maggey had gotten a job at a clothing store for a month or so—the employee's discount was a big help.

Edgeworth muttered something about how it was completely unfair that everyone else got a big entrance, but he and Phoenix just stood in front the whole time.

Then everybody stood up as Maya entered the courtroom. She was wearing a white wedding dress with a hole cut out of the veil for her top knot to stick through. It was one of the few times Phoenix had seen her in anything other than her spirit medium clothes. She really was a pretty girl—he didn't know why she never wore anything else. She'd look pretty in anything, even Gumshoe's old trenchcoat. Gosh, he was lucky to be marrying her.

"Wright," Edgeworth hissed. "Snap out of it."

Phoenix shook his head. He had been so busy staring at Maya that he had forgotten about the wedding.

"Right," Phoenix said. He reached into his pocket and took out the wedding rings. He gave one to Maya.

"You look beautiful," he whispered to her.

"Duh!" Maya responded.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey in holy matrimony..." the Judge began, reading off of a piece of paper.

The wedding ceremony was short, as far as weddings go. Phoenix had at first agreed to hold a traditional Kurain wedding, but when he found out that it involved doing handstands down the aisle and smashing two urns together, he changed his mind. There had been a huge fight with Maya about that, and in the end, they decided to have a traditional Kurain wedding with most of the odder ceremonies removed.

The two of them exchanged vows, or what passed for wedding vows in Kurain. Naturally, there was no "until death do us part" line—for spirit mediums, death was not that big of a hurdle when it came to having a married relationship.

After the two of them exchanged rings and promised to love and honor each other, the ceremony came to an end. "And now the big finale!" The Judge said. "I now pronounce you...NOT GUILTY!"

He banged down his gavel and confetti poured from the ceiling.

"Bro! Wrong ceremony, eh?" the Judge's brother called from the audience.

"Augh! Sorry, force of habit. I mean, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride, wait, Bryde?" The Judge squinted at his sheet of paper. "Isn't Bryde one of the bridesmaids? Maggey Bryde?"

"That's Byrde, Your Honor," Edgeworth said. "Mr. Wright is going to kiss his new wife, not Miss Byrde."

"Ah, that makes more sense," The Judge said, nodding. "In any case, you may proceed with the kissing."

And that's just what they did. The two of them pressed their lips together and stayed that way for a full minute.

Phoenix came up gasping for air. "I know it's probably too late to ask," he said. "But are you _sure_ it's a Kurain tradition for the new couple to kiss for so long? I almost suffocated!"

"I might have made that tradition up," Maya admitted. "But who cares? We're married, Nick!"

* * *

"Way to go, Pal! You did it!" Gumshoe said, clamping a hearty hand down on Phoenix's shoulder.

"Congratulations, you two!" Mia said. "I'm sorry I missed the wedding!"

Pearl had been herself during the wedding, but she channeled Mia for part of the after-party. Not that Mia had to worry about missing anything—the whole wedding had been filmed on a professional camera that Will Powers and Penny Nichols had managed to borrow.

Across the room, Larry did a double-take. He could have sworn that Phoenix was talking to Mia, but she was _dead!_ Larry looked down at his wine glass. Maybe he'd had too much to drink...

"I was worried that Nick might chicken out there for a moment!" Maya joked. "But he did it!"

"Look who's talking," Phoenix said. "Didn't you run out of the office two months ago, screaming, '_I can't take it anymore!_'?"

"I was talking about the Pink Princess, not the wedding," Maya said. "Have you _seen_ what they did to her character?"

"Um, no, not really," Phoenix admitted.

"You have to now!" Maya said. "Husbands have to watch their wives' favorite TV shows. It's a Kurain tradition."

"Mia, is that _really_ a Kurain tradition?" Phoenix asked.

"As the Head of Kurain, Maya can make up any traditions she wants," Mia said.

"Aw, man..." Phoenix said.

Elsewhere, Lana Skye was talking with her sister Ema. Ema was loudly complaining about the outcome of the bouquet toss, while throwing angry looks at Edgeworth.

Franziska von Karma caught the bouquet. She seemed indifferent about it—"Of course I caught it. A von Karma is perfect," she had said—but when she found out that Edgeworth caught the wedding garter, she blushed furiously.

It was a good thing she had left her whip at home, because when Phoenix and Maya had forced "the happy new couple" to dance, Franziska gave him a look that could curl milk. Fortunately, it had turned out that Edgeworth was an extremely graceful dancer, and the two prosecutors waltzed with each other for over twenty minutes.

Phoenix and Maya decided to call an end to the evening's activities after Larry tried asking Iris out on a date, only to turn around and immediately ask Lana Skye out on a date as well. It was for Larry's own good—Pearl looked like she was going to slap Larry silly for doing that to her sister.

Getting everyone out was a bit of a hassle—the two Judges, in particular, refused to leave until they finished their argument over which one of them had the more luxurious beard—but with the help of Edgeworth, Phoenix managed to clear out the crowd.

After a final goodbye, Edgeworth left the building, leaving Phoenix and Maya alone.

Phoenix looked around. The hall they had rented for the night was a real mess. He doubted they could clean up all the trash by the end of the night, especially seeing how tired (yet happy) Maya looked in her wedding dress.

"So..." Phoenix began.

"So." Maya agreed.

"Let's go home?"

"Sure. Can we pick up burgers on the way?"

"As many as you want."

"Great!" Maya said. "Only, you have to pay for them."

"Objection!" Phoenix cried.

Maya and Phoenix laughed together as they left the building.

* * *

And thus ends the story of how Maya Fey officially became Maya Wright.

**The End**


End file.
